A study in Beef Jerky

senayatulla — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 22:19:48 +0000

A few weeks ago, while at the local halal store, The Boss and I found Beef Jerky.

Halal Beef Jerky.

As in, OH-MY-GOD-I-HAVEN’T-EATEN-BEEF-JERKY-SINCE-I-WAS-TEN-YEARS-OLD(!) Beef Jerky. I nearly shed a tear.

I started eating halal, or zabiha meat my sophomore year in high school, which essentially eliminated All Things Delicious from my diet until slightly later in life when more Muslim manufacturers started making food, snack and candy items that fell within the Islamic dietary laws. As more companies overseas started shipping halal products to the U.S., and as more U.S. companies started catering to the local demand, eating halal essentially meant you could have anything you wanted, as long as you looked for it in the right places. Of course, I realize that not all Muslims follow the dietary guidelines that I follow, so for some of you Beef Jerky is like, SO 1993, and you’re less excited about my find then you were when you found out that your little sister had been stealing your training bras and wearing them to fifth grade.

(Sorry, Uzma!)

But Beef jerky was a major part of my life growing up, and finding it now isn’t only about getting to eat something I once loved, it’s also a flash back to my childhood. I still remember going to K-Mart with my mom, and grabbing a couple of Slim Jims, or a pack of Beef Jerky each time we got to the check-out.

HA!

My momma used ta take me ta Kay-Mart where I’d get me some new skewl supplahs, and some Sleem Jeeems and eat ‘em like ma hero Macho Man.

OOOHHH YYEEEAAA.

And you better believe I SNAPPED my way through many-a-Slim Jim while wiggling the fingers on both my hands, and trying to perfect the vibrato in my voice to match Macho Man’s, but only a few of you will probably understand and appreciate that reference.

OOOHHH YYEEEAAA.

So the Boss and I picked up the beef jerky, and I proceeded to tweet about it, and I even e-mailed a friend. This is what we found.

We took it out of the package, and though not completely reminiscent of my childhood, it was still Beef Jerky! so that was good enough for us. But then, something amazing happened. My mom was recently on a trip to the Gulf, and upon her return she mailed The Boss and me a care package full of goodies. Including MORE BEEF JERKY. Only this time it was something more familiar to us.

“Jack Link’s!?!?” The Boss shouted, as he sprinted into the living room, and ripped the bag out of my hand. “I used to eat this when I was little! But this isn’t halal.”

“Of course it is,” I said, snatching it back. “Why would my mom send us something that wasn’t halal?”

The Boss grabbed the packet of Beef Jerky out of my hand again, and furiously flipped the package over, in search of the ONE confirmation word we were looking for. There were ingredients written in Arabic, English, Chinese and Japanese, but nothing that said…

“HALAL!!!!”

The Boss found it.

BINGO.

THANK YOUUUU, New Zealand!

We ripped open the bag, and the moment my teeth sank into THIS jerky, angels sang. The clouds parted and light flooded our apartment. Now that our home has been suddenly filled with Beef Jerky, I found it appropriate to do a comparative study.

Let’s begin.

Left: Jack Link’s Beef Jerky.
Right: Halal Jerky Beef Jerky.

As you can see both companies take quite a different approach to their jerky.

Halal Jerky Beef Jerky

Pros:

-Bigger pieces
-The first halal beef jerky I ever met
-Spicy

Cons:

-A little too tough/dry
-The heavy flavor makes the jerky seem forced
-Extra fat makes chewing a bit of a chore

Jack Link’s Beef Jerky

Pros:

-Thicker cut of meat provides better texture
-Smaller pieces are easy to eat, making for a better snack food
-Softer pieces make chewing less strenuous

Cons:

-Bag had more air in it than jerky
-If jerky were just a tad bit drier, it would feel more like the jerky from my childhood
-Some pieces were a bit on the fluorescent pink side, which made me nervous

In Conclusion: Jack Link’s Beef Jerky is our winner. The Halal Jerky’s take on Beef Jerky was a bit over-spiced, and too dry, and excess fat made me feel like I was swallowing tiny pieces of bubble gum as I ate. I’m not sure if Jack Link’s Beef Jerky is halal everywhere, but now that The Boss and I have been made aware of its existence, we plan on going to the local non-halal grocery stores to take a look around, and ask our local halal grocers to order it. Of course you could always visit the company’s Web site, and shoot them a note to find out more about where to find products that fit your specific needs.

———

This is not a sponsored review. It is simply a comparison of dried meat, which I hope will help you make informed decisions regarding what type of jerky to feed your family. Issues of such grave importance should not be taken lightly. Thank you for your time.

Slice of Lemon

A study in Beef Jerky