Lladro figures stir emotions while reminiscing

Posted on January 25, 2012
Filed Under Ask Sabrina, Daily | Leave a Comment

Dear Sabrina,

Recently, a group of my friends got together for dinner. We haven’t seen each other in some time because of school, and new spouses and children, so when we get together we do a lot of reminiscing on “old times.” Somehow, we got talking about how all of our parents used to collect Lladro porcelain figures and we were joking about how we all had random animal and human figures around our homes. Suddenly, one of the girls in our group got up and stormed off. Later I pulled her aside and asked if she was okay. She basically said that she was getting really ticked off that all of us were talking about these expensive trinkets flippantly that her family never had. I didn’t know how to handle the situation, but I’ll admit that I was a little annoyed by her reaction. Over the last few years, she’s had a lot of these types of moments where she gets into a bad mood and no one really knows how to act around her and it’s really uncomfortable for all of us. Basically us girls only get together once a year and she ruins the fun with her attitude. I don’t think any of us meant to talk about our childhoods in an irreverent fashion, but I’m also tired of trying to cheer my friend up for things that seem insignificant. I guess my question is, why did my friend get mad over stupid porcelain figures? What can I say to her the next time she gets into one of her moods?

Sincerely,

Trying to be a good friend

***

Dear Trying,

It may not be the Lladro figures that made her upset, but talk of them may have acted as a trigger for your friend – bringing back memories of not feeling good enough as a child. Maybe she always felt that her family didn’t fit into the larger dynamic of your community because of their “lack of” material wealth as she saw it; sadly, money can have that effect on people. In recent years I’ve seen and heard of many tweens and teens that are included in adult financial discussions and even asked to help pitch into a family pot. If this was the case in your friend’s life, she may bear some resentment toward her particular situation, or she may just be moody like you said. In any scenario, if you want to maintain a relationship with her you should remain sensitive toward her feelings, but give her something to think about. You can say something like, “All of us girls only get to see each other once a year, so let’s make the best of it.” If this approach doesn’t work then allow her the time she needs to herself. When she’s ready to re-join the group she will. And eventually she’ll learn that she has to make a choice: enjoy the company of old friends or find a corner in which to mope.

Good luck,
Sabrina

Ice cream for breakfast

Posted on January 25, 2012
Filed Under Daily, In Connecticut, Photos, The Boss | Leave a Comment

(Photo and cake credit: Kai-Yan Wong)

The Boss’s colleagues had a little birthday celebration for him this morning with a homemade(!) ice-cream(!) cake(!) decorated with the Lakers logo and colors, of course. Though the other option could have been to ice the cake with the Patriots logo, or a little Tom Brady topper. Of course the danger in that scenario is that The Boss might have hyperventilated with Super Bowl anxiety and passed out before he got to blow out the candle.

Laugh, melt, regroup

Posted on January 23, 2012
Filed Under Daily, In Connecticut, Teaching | 1 Comment

Me: Oakley, what letter is that?

Oakley: Q!

Me: Good. What sound does ‘Q’ make?

Oakley: Kwa! Kwa!

Me: Very good. What’s something that starts with the /q/ sound?

Oakley: Quail!

Me: Very good!

Oakley: Queen!

Me: Good, Oakley. One more.

Oakley: Kwarate!

What I love: January

Posted on January 19, 2012
Filed Under Daily, Style | 1 Comment

fx wild harvest silk drops silk serum in lotus, $6 to $7 online or at most drugstores

Bioré make-up removing towelettes, $7.49 at most drugstores

La Roche-Posay Effaclar K Daily Renovating Anti-Relapse Salicylic Acid Acne Treatment, $25 to $28 online or at most drugstores

Submarine. You will fall in love with Oliver Tate’s quirky and unusual personality. Check Redbox, Netflix for availability.

Uniqlo heattech scoop-neck long-sleeve shirts in different colors, $13 (sale price) to $20 Uniqlo

Revlon Colorstay nail polish in “Marmalade,” $5 to $8 at CVS (check extra care coupons for $3 off Revlon products)

myfitnesspal.com. A free calorie counter that helps you track your diet and exercise on your computer or on your phone (has an app. for both iPhone and Android). Do it with your friends and stay motivated and healthy together!

 

In summary…

Posted on January 19, 2012
Filed Under Daily, In Connecticut, The Boss | 1 Comment

Me: I can help you with that…

The Boss: Thanks.

Me: …but not if I’m on YouTube looking for something really important.

The Boss: Don’t worry, by the time I need help, YouTube will already have been banned.

Me: Touché.

#SOPA #PIPA

A few updates: Journey and other “books”

Posted on January 16, 2012
Filed Under Daily, In Connecticut, Journey | 20 Comments

Oh, sigh. Where to begin. So, I’ve been working on two books. One of which you guys have seen being Weblished incrementally in this space since 2009. It’s called The Journey Within, and I’ve published 10 parts here already. The other book I’m writing…wait a second. Do I need to use quotes every time I say book? As in, I’m writing a “book?” Because technically it’s not a book until it’s published, which means my “book” is a “book” until it becomes a book.

For those of you who have been following this site for a while, then you might remember that the tagline of this blog used to be, “A Novel I’ll Never Get Around to Writing.” And then sometime in 2009, I pulled that tagline from the banners on this site because I finally decided I was going to write an actual “book” that would hopefully someday become a book.

I’ve been dreaming this dream since I was in the second grade, and I woke up one day and realized that my dream will remain a dream until I actually start writing with fervor and purpose. My final push to get going came from The Boss and my friend, Stephanie. The Boss told me I was talented and funny* and that I should lift the pressure off giving myself constant deadlines. Instead, his advice was that I should utilize every day the best I could, accomplish little goals one at a time and if God willed this for me, and I worked hard, something great would happen.

*He didn’t actually say I was funny, I just threw that in for effect.

Stephanie, on the other hand, said something along the lines of, “What? Of course you’ll get published! Have you seen how much CRAP is on book shelves right now? If those idiots could find publishers, so can you!”

God, I love my friends.

So I started writing. With somewhat of a clear goal in mind. As I saw it, I had three stories to tell: humorous essays about my views on life, a memoir about my childhood, and the raw and detailed and sometimes funny tale of my rebirth into faith, which started coming to life through the Journey series.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S NOT CLEAR?

So I wrote, and I deleted, and I published portions of my life here. And then I imagined getting published in paperback. And then I imagined you guys getting my book. And then I imagined you guys reading my book. And then I imagined you guys being disappointed. And then I stopped writing for a while.

As a journalist/writer, I feel a lot of pressure to be good with words because after all, that’s what I’m paid to be good at. But I’m a person who’s had to buy multiple birthday and thank you and get well cards for people in the past because I get so nervous writing in them I mess up and tear the cards in half (true story), which is essentially like setting a $5 bill on fire.

If you’ve ever gotten a card from The Boss and me, it’s probably in The Boss’s handwriting. Why? Because I’m in the bathroom trying to use nail polish to turn “FLINK!” into another flower petal on your daughter’s birthday card because I meant to write “YAY!” or “HAPPY!” or something that somehow turned into “FLINK!” because I couldn’t handle the pressure; I’m like the writer version of an accountant who can’t balance his own checkbook.

I’ve already heard back from a few literary agents I pitched who weren’t interested in my voice or my stories, but that’s not the reason I’ve decided to stop publishing Journey on this site. I’ve decided to stop publishing it here because I don’t want to be a “blogger that wrote a book based on her blog.” Yes, I blog, but I’m a journalist by profession and I think sometimes, in the midst of all this “personal sharing,” who I am as a professional gets lost in the shuffle. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve been asked how “that thing” I do “on the computer” is going. It makes me want to channel Sabrina circa 2002. And that wouldn’t be good for anyone.

I want what I publish to be fresh and new and make you laugh and cry and possibly even ignore your babies because you just can’t put my book down until you’ve made it to the end of the chapter. Oh, I’m only kidding about letting your kid cry until you reach the end of the chapter. I totally wouldn’t be offended if you let your kid cry until you got to the end of the page.

I don’t want to write a book that you pick up one day and say, “Uh, I’ve already read half of this on Slice of Lemon,” and my biggest fear is that-that could happen if I don’t make different choices this year. I’ll continue to write Journey (along with my other “books”) on my laptop, on Post-it Notes, in my journals and in my head until they’re finished. Until one day, they’re bound and beautiful and you won’t feel like you wasted your time by reading what I have to say.

What all this means for Slice of Lemon in terms of a change in format isn’t really all that much. I’ll still publish in this space, but I’ll be holding on to a lot of stories for a future day. For a day when I’ll have a full-circle moment. For a day when that little girl who ran her fingers across “Where The While Things Are” in the Fox Mill Elementary School library and thought, “I’m going to write a book someday and win a medal for it” will finally get to see her dream realized.

Until then, FLINK! Anybody have $5 I could borrow?

What are your fashion resolutions for 2012?

Posted on January 15, 2012
Filed Under BlogHer, Daily | Leave a Comment

When The Boss and I moved from Los Angeles to Southern Connecticut one year ago, I gained 10 pounds. Wow. I never thought I’d say that on the Internet. Not because I’m embarrassed (yes, actually I’m incredibly embarrassed) but more so because I’m not fat, and it’s a social taboo for a “normal” woman to talk about her weight. I’ve been an athlete my whole life so my weight was never an issue. At my yearly physicals, the doctor would prop me up on the scale, tell me the number, and I’d hop off. And the impact of those numbers had the same effect on me as the impact that the existence of squirrels has on me. They exist. So what?

But the fact that I’m not fat makes writing this even more personal and frightening. Because when you are fat, or a little chubby, or could stand to loose a few pounds, you can self-deprecate and make jokes about how many times you failed Weight Watchers. Because that takes you from “overweight woman” to “confident woman who loves her curves.” You can turn your weight into a 10-minute stand-up on national television, a blog post, or even an entire book. But when you’re “normal” like me, talking about your weight is taboo because DON’T I KNOW THAT YOU’VE HAD WEIGHT PROBLEMS YOUR WHOLE LIFE?! And WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE AM I SENDING TO MY YOUNG FEMALE READERS ABOUT BODY IMAGE WHEN I’M PROBABLY A SIZE ZERO?!

Uh, zero? Not by a long shot. And definitely not a goal that I’ve ever had or ever want to have for myself.

When a relatively nice-figured woman talks about her weight, she’s shunned from all her female companions. She’s a disgrace to a well-mannered culture of women where SHE SHOULD KNOW BETTER than to talk about her now-27-inch waist (GASP!) while her best friend is still trying to jog off those last 8 pounds of baby weight from her now 2-year-old son. Now having said that, there’s a time and place to talk about weight loss. Obviously, you shouldn’t discuss your mild to moderate “fatness” in front of someone who’s morbidly obese, and if you’re wrists are the same size as your biceps, no one wants to hear that you “feel bloated, ugh.”

Now that we’ve cleared that up.

I say, I’m not fat because I’m not, but the body I have at this very moment isn’t the best body I have had or could have, and I know that because I know myself. I know what I’m capable of, and I know where I’ve been slacking.

I could make excuses about how the Northeast turned into a tundra last year when we moved here, therefore hindering my daily runs. I could say that there wasn’t enough space in our car for my workout mats when we drove across the country and that made my at-home workouts too difficult to engage in. But the truth? Well, it’s plain, and simple, and stupid. I was looking for work and trying to get people at big organizations to notice my writing. I sat at my computer for way too long and ate too much because nothing can soothe the soul of an unemployed journalist sending out six resumes a day while trying to write a book like a giant chocolate donut can. Or a dozen.

I think all women should make exercise a daily part of their lives no matter how big or small they are. But what’s more, is that I truly believe that every woman needs to understand how to dress her body in order to feel like the most beautiful version of herself. You could be a size 2 or a size 12, but when your clothes fit, you will look amazing.

For the last 3 years, I’ve worked mostly from home – with the exception of a few part-time jobs I’ve picked up transitionally – and so my dress requirements for work have been incredibly slack. I had a few interviews and important meetings in 2011 for which I had to pull out my “good clothes” and when I did, I practically held my breath during meetings. It wasn’t until those moments did I realize (uh, admit?) how many fat inches I’d actually expanded by.

I’m a big believer in spending more on less. I’d rather spend $200 on jeans that I’ll have for five years than buy a pair for $19.99 that I’ll keep for one season. So in a former life when I actually had a clothing budget, I bought fairly expensive clothes. Dress pants and slacks from Ann Taylor (Loft, let’s not get carried away now) and BCBG Max Azria; knit tops, dress clothes and shoes from Bloomigdale’s and Nordstrom, casual clothes and accessories from Cusp, and my all time favorite jeans: Joe’s.

But between catering my wardrobe more and more toward the requirements of my religion and my constantly evolving style plus weight gain, I’ve donated bagfuls of clothes to Goodwill, and have hangers with items that just don’t fit anymore. So, basic logic would suggest I pack up those items and toss them in the closest Salvation Army bin, right?

WRONG.

Since last summer, I’ve contemplated finally getting rid of those clothes but couldn’t bring myself to do it for several reasons.

1) They feel too new to give away just yet

2) I spent a lot of money on these high-quality items I wore often and plan to wear again

3) They used!!! to!!! fit!!! me!!!

4) If I give these clothes away and I have a job interview or an important meeting then I won’t have any formal wear because my budget for clothes has all of EIGHT CENTS in it.

5) Eventually, this pity-party (hosted and attended by me) will be over; I’ll get off the computer and pull my hand out of that bag of Lay’s and get back in shape!

Look, I’m not pining away after some jeans I wore back when I was 15. I’m 28 years old. I don’t want the body I had when I was 15. But what I do want is the body I’ve has since I was 24 or 25. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, or a goal that’s too far out of my reach. But recently, I was doing some learning about women’s metabolism and found out more about the times in a woman’s life when her metabolism resets. Then I met a trainer/mother of four/triathlete/ who said she’s been the same weight (give or take a few pounds) most of her adult life and has been every size from a 6 to a 12. So what does all this mean? It means that I’m at a place in my life where my metabolism is resetting, and I should honor and welcome that change with continued exercise, healthy eating, a positive attitude, and a trip to Goodwill.

My 2012 fashion resolution to look and feel good is to say goodbye to those ill-fitting wares and just pinch my pennies until I can afford some new threads. And if I have a job interview? Well, I’ll just tuck in the tags and return it the next day. Only kidding. I’ll return it over the weekend.

I love my body. I truly do. And I credit my parents for developing my self-confidence by instilling in me a love of learning and achievement. They taught me to value a never-quit attitude and apply it in all aspects of my life over the number on a scale and the size of my little black dress. And I don’t want to dishonor them by turning into a woman who’s holding on to a handful of size 2 work pants because they used!!! to!!! fit!!! My mom and dad would want to know they raised me better than that. Because they did.

Share what you’re 2012 fashion resolutions are in the comments section of Maegan’s post and if you read other resolutions you love, make sure to share those links! And then enter the Kindle Fire/Amazon Gift Card Sweepstakes!

Here’s to healthy and happy fashion that fits in 2012!

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