How did you adjust to married life?
Posted on July 7, 2010
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For some, the move from single to married is seamless and easy, while for others, the saying, “The first year is the hardest,” proves true at every corner. What were some of the changes you had to make after you got married? Were they things you expected, or not? And how have you since adjusted?
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3 Responses to “How did you adjust to married life?”
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wow, there are so many to list!
Yeah, the way I ate definitely changed. I used to eat out a lot, and I didn’t have to worry about dinner because my mom would cook. So I had to learn to cook. And he was so picky with food and critical, so I had to learn to cook really tasty foods! lol
Also, sharing the bed was a big transition, since I’m a big tosser/turner, haha.
I feel like I had a lot of freedom before I was married, maybe too much for my own good… So losing that freedom and having to “report” the things I did or where I was to my hubby was a BIG change. I felt caged, but I now understand better and am wiser about these things. I realize that since he’s my mahram, he has that responsibility and he doesn’t take that lightly.
The first year IS the hardest! I had to learn to communicate and share my thoughts & feelings like never before.
I am new to the married life, only got married three months ago… In that time I have moved to a completely different continent (from UK to North America) left my big family of close knit uncles, aunts and cousins to fit into a family where my husband is an only child. Did take some getting used to, but Alhamdulillah it is going great so far.
As far as changing – where do I begin?!
* I have always been a VERY independent person, I don’t know if coming form a family of just girls attributed to that or not. Now that I have moved over, I am currently unemployed as I have to wait for all my paperwork to come through and so I find it hard relying on my husband, although he reassures me time and time again that it shouldn’t – can’t help it!
I didn’t cook much before, sure I knew and learnt the basics from my mum and my first few times in the kitchen were disasterous. Because of that I vowed that I would marry a chef. It didn’t happen! I have surprised myself now, with how much I enjoy cooking and baking, I love to experiment and try out different things – I definitely believe in “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”
I am grateful that we have a very healthy and understanding relationship, as far as everything else, not much has change, I am still my own person, just that I have someone who shares the same dreams and aspirations as me. Yes, there are things we disagree on but that’s life.
One thing that I have found hard is that I am accustomed to writing a diary and not sharing my feelings all the time, but now, I am trying to share with my husband instead of writing things down in a book (I still write, can’t stop a diary after so many years!)
Before I got married my uncle gave me one piece of advice: Give and take and patience, you’ll need plenty of these things for a happy marriage. I understand his point and agree as long as it’s not just one partner doing the above all the time. Thankfully, I can say that we are both growing as people and adjusting to married life harmoniously/
Hmm, I felt more free after getting married =) I had to report to just ONE person as opposed to before when I had to report to my mom, my sister, my brother, my uncle in Pakistan, my great grand aunt in Virginia…. well, you get the picture.
Jealousy! Wow, didn’t know how to deal with that. Neither of us. Some good friends were lost in that battle. By now though masha Allah, we’re so secure in each other that we can easily joke about “my pretend boy friend in yoga class that I don’t really like but MAN can he fly from bakasana into peacock pose like an angel!”
And my husband will calmly tell me later, “that pretend boyfriend of yours? He was totally checking ME out!”