Muzlem, what did you do on Christmas?

Posted on December 28, 2011
Filed Under Daily, Videos | 15 Comments

I’ve decided that each year on Eid I’m going to go up to random people and be all, “What are you doing for Eid this year?!” and when they look at me all, HUH? I’m going to be like, “Oh, you don’t celebrate Eid? AAAWWW!!! HOW WILL YOU POSSIBLY SURVIVE?” And I’m going to be all extra aggressive-like, like when hippos are desperately fighting for the last viable female to help gestate their spawn. Yes, I could have just gotten mammals and amphibians mixed up, but don’t go Googling my online correctness because then YOU’LL MISS THE JOKE.

Before I started covering my hair no one ever asked me about my “holiday plans.” In some ways that was awesome because I never had to explain that I didn’t celebrate Christmas since most of my close friends already knew I had two of my own religious holidays called Eid. Yes, two. And yes, they’re both called Eid. We’re original like that. On the flip side, not being asked about my holiday plans was also un-awesome because I was (sadly) never a good representation of my faith. As in, when I started covering my hair a close girlfriend of mine from high school was all, “When did you become a Muslim?”

Ouch. Yeah, it was one of those.

I don’t not like Christmas, you guys. I love the festive holiday lights; I love the bulked up candy aisle at CVS; I love the smell of winter. And The Boss is a huge fan of this time of year. His childhood babysitter used to celebrate Christmas with The Boss and his sister when they were young so unlike me The Boss has somewhat of a connection to the holiday. At least once a day for the last 20 days I’ve walked into the living room with The Boss listening (and singing along) to a Frank Sinatra or Andy Williams Christmas classic.

But what I can’t wrap my head around is how Christmas celebrators can’t wrap their head around what non-Christmas celebrators do on Christmas. Uh, what do you do on Hanukkah? Any plans for Diwali? I have to admit, I don’t fully understand why non-Christians celebrate Christmas. People always complain that Christmas has “become commercialized,” but by whom? Uh, obvs by the people who exchanged gifts this year more out of habit and trend and less out of religious significance or family tradition. You know who you are.

If people want the tree and the presents, why not just pick a random day in the year like the Jehovah’s Witnesses do and call it Family Day (like they do), or Present Day or Let’s Grow Trees Just So We Can Cut Them Down And Shove Them Into Our Basements Where The Ceilings Are Way Too Low For Nature To Thrive Day?

I believe in Jesus. I believe in Mary. I believe in the immaculate conception. But I don’t believe in bandwagon holiday participation. I don’t not celebrate Christmas because I’m part of some subculture that’s trying to prove a point about society with my eye tattoo and black nail polish (before 2007 made that trendy), I don’t celebrate Christmas because it doesn’t have religious significance for me and I find the holiday historically inaccurate. And the reason I don’t feel like I’m missing out is because I get to celebrate my holidays, which originate from my own faith and commemorate and celebrate stuff that’s really important to me.

If I were a practicing Christian or Catholic (or some variation of) I think I’d be annoyed that people were turning my holy day into a time when pepper spray need be involved — even if it was in self defense. The only thing you should be defending yourself from during the Christmas season IS LOVE.

Feel free to re-tweet that.

Whooo!

Posted on December 25, 2011
Filed Under In Connecticut | 1 Comment

Because it’s been too long since we heard from Nature Boy.

Little Peanut

Posted on December 23, 2011
Filed Under Daily, In Connecticut, Teaching | 6 Comments

Yesterday afternoon while taking a break between students at the center I teach at, I went by the room down the hall packed with two dozen 2 year olds. I wish I could say I do this because I’m gauging the children’s intellect for placement in the reading program for the sake of enriching their minds and fostering an early love of learning, but really I do it because I get a kick out of watching the little soul bodies in baby costumes try and accomplish simple tasks unsuccessfully. Is putting on a shoe, or zipping your coat really THAT HARD? And while I’m in here, if you could just fall one more time that would be awesome. That’s a mental picture I’ll keep with me for the rest of the week.

Since I started teaching part-time earlier this year, I pop into one of the 4 day-care rooms (located on the opposite side of the building from the pre-school, kindergarten and shcool-age classrooms) several times a day to hold a cute baby, get tickled at the site of a 1 year old wearing glasses, or have a conversation with a child who is unaware of socially frowned upon phrases like, “Ryan touched my poop.” In every room I visit, it’s easy to find a favorite. Sometimes you just connect with a kid for no explicable reason. One of my favorite little guys where I work is a boy “Aimes” who I am absolutely head over heels in love with. At least twice a day when I see him I send him home with the same message.

“Aimes, tell mommy and daddy you want to come to phonics with me and ask them if I can take you home.”

And every time, I get the same response, “Okay, Brina.” I’m melting all over the Internet.

I don’t know what it is about Aimes that makes my heart feel like putty when I see him, but I think part of it is that he reciprocates the love I have for him. He’s a little peanut who doesn’t weigh an ounce over 25 pounds, and every time he sees me, he darts across the room as fast as his little legs will carry him and jumps into my arms. We talk about the light switch and the fire alarm and he always plays with my earrings, while asking, “Don pull. Night, Brina?”

“Right, Aimes. Otherwise you will rip Miss Sabrina’s ear off and I’ll bleed all over you and your classroom, and then I’ll have to go to the doctor.”

“Blood and go doctor?”

I love a man who listens.

Most days Aimes goes straight for my scarf, lifting it to peek underneath; at 2 I’m sure he wonders if I have hair. Aimes is my absolute favorite kid at the center, and one of most teachers’ least favorite. He has good days and bad days at school, but I think most of that is because he’s been transitioning from foster care into a home with his new adopted parents and biological brother. That’s a lot for anyone to take in.

Yesterday, on one of my routine visits to go see Aimes, he saw me through the glass door in between the holiday décor taped to the window. He squealed, started clapping and then ran toward me. It was the most pure, spontaneous and joyful reaction I’ve ever received.  Seriously, when was the last time someone greeted you WITH APPLAUSE BECAUSE YOU EXISTED?

Dog and cat owners always say that one of the best parts of pet ownership is that there’s always someone excited for when you get home. I like animals, but I’m not a “pet person” so I need to find a place where I can get a kid. You know, for the days I need a little pick-me-up. I’m looking for someone to play with who’s cute, small and obedient. Like a good Muslim wife!

BA-DAMPPP-CHHHH!

Of course since Aimes is already taken it’s pointless to look for a small friend to keep at home since truly no one can compare to him. But in the mean time I plan on having a serious talk with The Boss when he comes home tonight. No, not the, Let’s have babies! talk, the I’d like for you to stand up and cheer every time I enter a room talk.

Last night

Posted on December 22, 2011
Filed Under Daily, In Connecticut, The Boss | Leave a Comment

After dinner, during the Lakers-Clippers pre-season game:

Me: I have to go. I can’t keep my eyes open any longer. Could you clean this stuff up?

The Boss: Yeah. Wait. All of it?

Me: Please? I’m exhausted.

The Boss: Is there stuff in the kitchen?

Me: Yeah, I’ll get that.

The Boss: No, I can get it.

Me: Thank you. And you can go ahead and run the dishwasher too.

The Boss: Let’s not get too crazy.

It’s a hard knock life at 4

Posted on December 21, 2011
Filed Under Daily, In Connecticut, Teaching | 2 Comments

Aubri: Miss Sabrina, guess what!?

Me: What?

Aubri: I got a brand new swing set!

Me: Wow, that’s great!

Aubri: Yeah, but now I don’t know what to ask Santa for because I really wanted a swing set and now I have one.

Me: Hmm. Maybe you can think of some other stuff you like or want and ask Santa for those things.

Aubri:Yeah. Things have been busy, but I’ll think of something.

Me: Did you just say ‘things have been busy‘?

Aubri: Yeah, that’s why I haven’t had time to think of more stuff.

al-Muhaddithat: the women scholars in Islam

Posted on December 19, 2011
Filed Under Daily, Style | 4 Comments

This only begins to scratch the surface, but it’s brilliant and inspiring. The power of a woman, and her ability to shape, heal, and empower her family, her community and generations to come is simply unmatched. Now I need to find a mirror so I can flex and kiss my biceps. Yeah, it’s one of those books.

Available here.

Do you have kids? When are you having kids? You should have kids! You should have MORE kids!

Posted on December 19, 2011
Filed Under Daily | 1 Comment

We filmed this video for Newlyweds-Dish.com fairly recently (please turn your attention to Melissa’s less than 3-month old bundle of ADORABLENESS!), and filming on this topic came at a really interesting time for me because within the last year, one of three things has happened in my circle of closest girl friends: 1) They are in a serious relationship 2) They got married or 3) They’re starting to plan families.

My 10-year high school reunion was last month (OMG! I know!) and so many of the girls I went to high school with now have children. It’s scary and it’s exciting, but ultimately, when and how a couple steers through this very intimate Life Course is really no one’s business. One thing I’ve learned in my adult life is that everyone has a different normal. In my life, the normal I grew up with, what I was taught, what I learned, and what I saw consisted of men and women completing undergrad (at least), getting jobs, getting married, enjoying the first few years of married life and then having babies. Of course, my normal may not be your normal, but as women we have to learn to accept that what works for others is enough. We don’t need to police the type of wife, mother or employee another woman is. When’s the last time your husband came home from work and complained that a male colleague made him feel inferior for a life choice he’d made?

Yeah, exactly.

There’s tactful, and then there’s tactless. And the bottom line is, when a couple is ready to have children, they’ll know. And when they’re ready to share that information with you, they’ll let you know.

• April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010

• BlogHer.com Newlyweds Dish