I Just Hit Publish, and Now I Want A Scone

Internet, there was a time when Life looked at me and said, “You quit your job! You are SO EMPOWERED NOW!” and I was all, “AWESOME! I LOVE BEING UNEMPLOYED AND EMPOWERED!” and then Life was like, “Oh, by the way, you’re moving to L.A” and I was all, “AWESOME! I CAN’T WAIT TO LIVE [...]

There should totally be a cash prize for a guy this awesome

On the phone with The Boss:
Me: So then, I have all these pictures, and I’m looking at them, and I’m like…wait a minute. Did I tell you this story already?
The Boss: …
Me: Because I feel like I told you this story already. Did I?
The Boss: Yeah.
Me: Why didn’t you tell me? That’s annoying to hear [...]

Ever Wonder How ‘The Middle Finger’ Got a Bad Rap? Probably Like This.

Edit after publish: While on the phone with The Boss this afternoon, he said I called him a “Boke,” not a “Bowkah.”
Noted. Thank you, my love.
The Boss and I got into a fight. Over an imaginary word. That I made up.
But it wasn’t my fault. Well, maybe it kind of was.
He was disturbing me (read: [...]

Why We Don’t Have Kids: They Are Not Hands-Free

Since the beginning of this year, I’ve made a conscious effort to limit my purse carrying, though at times it seems impossible to do. The Boss leaves the house with his cell phone, wallet, and car keys tucked into his pockets, but my clothes are smaller than his (and sometimes I don’t have pockets) making [...]

Me vs. Newbie vs. Yugoslavia

Does everyone know what this is?

If you said, “a roll of quarters,” you are SO wrong. And you will not be advancing to the next round. If you said, “the lifeline of apartment living,” you just got 10 million points, and I will put a star next to your name in my book. It’s a [...]