It’s Not That Kind of Thong

So I just got done posting on the daily closet section of this site, where I happened to write the word “thong.” You know, like thong sandals? And it reminded me of a really funny, but unbelievably embarrassing story from when I was 15. When I was in high school, I used to take SAT-prep [...]

Hey Slave owner, Read much?

In February, I tried out for a post-collegiate lacrosse team in my area, which I made, but ended up having to withdraw my name from the roster because The Boss and I were moving to L.A. But turns out I’m still here and totally could have played, except I’m glad I didn’t because I have [...]

Things That Are Funny When They Happen to Other People But Suck When They Happen To You

A quick summary of my day: -While walking home from the grocery store, I see a woman walking toward me with her baby in a stroller. I smile and say ‘hi,’ and she sort of smiles, and then gets this weird disgusted look on her face. A moment later I feel something tickle my forehead, [...]

Come On Man, We’re in a Public Place!

My computer is still out of commission. So I guess you’re wondering how I’ve been blogging. Some days, when my computer turns on, it will actually let me open a program, like Microsoft Word. When that happens, it’s pretty much like witnessing Jesus walk on water, and after I wipe my tears, I start typing [...]

Dupe Me, and I’ll Break Your Ribs

Do I have boogers oozing out of my nose with the words Stupid, Idiot, and Moron swirling around inside them? I’d like to know, because I swear people either think A.) My brain is made of plastic, or B.) The Average Joe on the street has no idea that I invented “The Manic Death Hold” (also [...]