I don’t understand why this video doesn’t have 8 million hits already. Also, unless you or someone you know VERY WELL isn’t from Hyderabad, India you will not find this funny at all. Oh, and also this video is not in English.

Thanks a lot, Internet!

Because I’m writing non-fiction, I’ve heard a lot of mixed advice on submitting a partial versus a full manuscript. Based on the information I read on line (liars!) non-fiction or memoirs could be submitted unfinished while fiction had to be submitted in full. But now, I’m learning that some publishing houses and some agents want your full manuscript even if you’re writing non-fiction and/or a memoir. So you’re entire manuscript has to be done before you can even query an agent.

In my head (i.e. an ideal world where everything is about me and life’s laws functions accordingly) I would submit about 3 chapters of my unfinished manuscript (though I imagine an agent would know whether or not they liked my voice after less than 10 pages), the agent would contact me and enthusiastically squeal, “I’m in!” and then guide me through the process from there. And what I mean by “guide me through the process” is that they’d say, “Okay, next up, I want you to send me 5,000 words about your childhood…GO!” and so on. Through this guided process of writing, editing and re-writes I would be able to stay focused and develop actual chapters as opposed to having one large file that’s saved as “First Draft” on my computer.

I’ve been reading and writing a lot this month and have found that tackling a manuscript is so much different than the work I do as a journalist. When I’m writing a feature story, or an editorial piece, or even reporting on a hard news piece there is one topic at hand, a handful of people to interview, a few hours doing research and an editor (or editors) who I have constant access to. And that’s where my talents shine. My craft is in telling other peoples’ stories so to sit down and tackle my entire life (up to present day) with just me and my laptop is a daunting task.

So far I’ve got 29 pages completed that make sense in spurts. I edit myself with a really heavy hand so even though I’m disappointed that I don’t have 50 solid pages logged, I know myself so I understand why. This process of putting pen to paper in a personal format is reading (right now) exactly the way I think: 13 topics at once, something hilarious that if said aloud will probably offend a lot of people, a really profound life observation or thought that I’ll forget if I don’t write down in my journal AT THIS EXACT MOMENT (who cares if I’m driving 85 mph down 91!), and valuable and inspiring messages buried under a rubble of well-intended chaos and disorganization.

Come to think of it my brain at this very moment looks a lot like what my dorm room did my freshman year in college.

Recently, a group of my friends got together for dinner. We haven’t seen each other in some time because of school, and new spouses and children, so when we get together we do a lot of reminiscing on “old times.” Somehow, we got talking about how all of our parents used to collect Lladro porcelain figures and we were joking about how we all had random animal and human figures around our homes. Suddenly, one of the girls in our group got up and stormed off. Later I pulled her aside and asked if she was okay. She basically said that she was getting really ticked off that all of us were talking about these expensive trinkets flippantly that her family never had. I didn’t know how to handle the situation, but I’ll admit that I was a little annoyed by her reaction. Over the last few years, she’s had a lot of these types of moments where she gets into a bad mood and no one really knows how to act around her and it’s really uncomfortable for all of us. Basically us girls only get together once a year and she ruins the fun with her attitude. I don’t think any of us meant to talk about our childhoods in an irreverent fashion, but I’m also tired of trying to cheer my friend up for things that seem insignificant. I guess my question is, why did my friend get mad over stupid porcelain figures? What can I say to her the next time she gets into one of her moods?

Sincerely,

Trying to be a good friend

***

Dear Trying,

It may not be the Lladro figures that made her upset, but talk of them may have acted as a trigger for your friend – bringing back memories of not feeling good enough as a child. Maybe she always felt that her family didn’t fit into the larger dynamic of your community because of their “lack of” material wealth as she saw it; sadly, money can have that effect on people. In recent years I’ve seen and heard of many tweens and teens that are included in adult financial discussions and even asked to help pitch into a family pot. If this was the case in your friend’s life, she may bear some resentment toward her particular situation, or she may just be moody like you said. In any scenario, if you want to maintain a relationship with her you should remain sensitive toward her feelings, but give her something to think about. You can say something like, “All of us girls only get to see each other once a year, so let’s make the best of it.” If this approach doesn’t work then allow her the time she needs to herself. When she’s ready to re-join the group she will. And eventually she’ll learn that she has to make a choice: enjoy the company of old friends or find a corner in which to mope.

Good luck,
Sabrina