When The Boss and I moved just two miles up the road this summer not much changed geographically. We stayed in the same cozy town on the water and continued to frequent the same CVS and grocery store.
Actually, I did find a “new” grocery store recently, which is starting to grow on me. I mean, it’s always sort of dimly lit, unusually quiet no matter what time of day, the aisles are so narrow two people with shopping carts can barely pass each other and there’s always an employee sort of waiting around the corner to help you. It kind of feels like The Truman Show, but they sell cans of crushed tomatoes for like, 9 cents, so I mean, there’s your trade-off.
So yeah, not much changed except oddly enough, the water. It does weird things like leave a sticky residue on the walls after a shower and stains the inside of our toilet. I did some searching online about the water in our town and county and it doesn’t appear that we have “hard water;” our laundry is fine and so are our dishes. We’ve always done weekly bathroom cleanings (sink, floors, mirror, toilet, tub), which has been sufficient for us (two adults), but ever since we moved a weekly cleaning doesn’t seem like enough. Every time we flush the toilet the water leaves this spotty residue on the inside of the bowl, which looks strikingly similar to leftover dookie.
We’ve had quite a few visitors come over in the last few weeks and every time someone needs to use the bathroom I start to feel anxious wondering if that residue could have built up between the last cleaning, toilet flush AND RIGHT NOW. But I’m not exactly sure what to do. If I speed up ahead of the guest who’s trying to use the bathroom that would come across as incredibly rude — I mean, they did just ask where the bathroom was and here I am just cutting in line all willy nilly.
But let’s say I did make it to the bathroom before the guest in question noticed. What would I do? Start cleaning the toilet? That would almost be more gross because it would imply that there something that needed to be cleaned because we don’t clean EVEN THOUGH WE JUST CLEANED ON SATURDAY.
The other day while The Boss and I were out running errands we picked up a few extra toilet-cleaning agents. While the directions on both boxes said to stick one blue glob into the toilet bowl and drop one tablet into the toilet tank, I dropped like three tablets into the tank and stuck several blue globs into the bowl. Now, the smell of bleach coming from the bathroom is so strong I think it’s actually giving me heart burn while simultaneously burning off small quantities of my nose hair.
We don’t have windows in the bathroom to help ventilate the space and constantly running the exhaust fan wasn’t helping so I finally grabbed a wad of toilet paper, reached down into the toilet and pulled off one of the blue globs. That helped bring the smell down a notch, but now I need to figure out how to pull the excess tablets out of the toilet tank.
Maybe I could use a pair of kitchen tongs? I mean, if the bleach tablet is clean in and of itself and it’s bleaching (cleaning) the water in the tank than using tongs to pull the tablet out would sort of be like giving the tongs a thorough scrub, right? I mean, I’ll run them through the dishwasher afterward, but I just need to put my idea out there because how you guys react with help me gauge how gross (or brilliant!) my idea actually is.
For now, we’ve opened windows where we have them to let the smell out and I’ve taken to wrapping my face in a towel or in some article of clothing whenever I use the bathroom. I guess the smell of bleach is better than the that-looks-like-turds stains in the toilet, but really, neither scenario is ideal.
Oh, and as if all that wasn’t enough, I also dropped henna onto one of our bathroom mats, accidentally stepped on it and now there’s a yellow-ish-brown spot on the carpet that resembles the aftermath of someone just missing the potty all together. Obviously this entire bathroom situation has completely spiraled out of control. I’m not sure exactly what my next steps should be so in the mean time I think I’ll make a sign for future guests that says, Welcome! WE’RE DISGUSTING!