Bakerella would not be proud

bff Tina drove up to New York from Maryland a few weeks ago to throw me a baby shower. She came with her ideas, decorations and party spirit in tow, but since the party was at my place I thought it would be a great idea to lend my amazing skill set (at life) by trying my hand at Bakerlla (Angie Dudley’s) baby face cake pops.

Bakerella baby face cake pops

(Image via Bakerella)

There’s a gentle suggestion at the end of the post where Bakerella explains the basics of making cake pops where she says cake pops might pose a bit of a challenge for a novice. She even offers up two alternatives: why not try a cake ball or a cupcake pop!?

But my heart was set on the baby faces. Also, I was all, “What? I ain’t no beginner at life, yo!”

I was potty trained at 15 months, left my elbow skin in the dust of my efforts to learn how to ride a two-wheel bike at age 6 and reached for the 11 during sit-and-reach in PE when the passing score for my age group was 7. AND THE BOARD ONLY WENT UP TO 10.

I don’t speak a word of Latin, but offer me a class AND I WILL SIGN UP FOR ADVANCED.

Sure, maybe my sense of self is clouded by the fog of my own delusions, but I’ll have you know I drove straight through that fog to go pick up my supplies.

I found most of the craft stuff (including the candy coating and food markers) at Michaels and picked up the cake mix and vegan marshmallows from Whole Foods. I couldn’t find candy necklaces anywhere on the planet (read: within a 5 mile radius of my home) and buying in bulk didn’t seem like the best option so I substituted the candy necklaces for Smarties.

And that was only the beginning of the many, many mistakes to follow.

Originally I’d taken a few dozen photographs of the baking process to tout my genius in a post here. But after what I now refer to as The Baby Face Cake Pop Disaster of 2013, I feel that it’s only right to skip to the end and share with you my finished product.

So here’s what the cake pops were supposed to look like:

Bakerella baby face cake pops

And now, here’s what I turned out…

baby face cake pops

I’ll let you all digest this image for a moment. And once the Internet laughter dies down I’ll continue.

To protect you all from happening upon a similar disaster, I’ve come up with a list of what to avoid if you want to be successful at cake pop life.

You’re welcome.

1. Don’t accidentally buy icing instead of frosting. They are very different. You do not want to learn the hard way.

2. Put the wax paper on a baking tray before you start rolling the crumbled cake and frosting mix into balls. It is not a good idea to try to lift and balance 30 balls on paper and move them over to your baking tray and into your freezer.

3. Buy a proper and sturdy Styrofoam BLOCK from a craft store instead of buying unknown material that you think could be Styrofoam (but is most likely, definitely NOT) that’s SHAPED LIKE A CIRCLE  from the Dollar Store.

4. Don’t assume that if you add enough candy coating onto a lumpy cake ball it will eventually smooth out the lumps.

5. Consider holding your candy melt mixture against your skin so there are no whispers about who the father of your baby is as everyone reaches for a cake pop.

6. Do not eat all the edges of your cake. This has nothing to do with the cake pop making process, but will help you avoid the excess mucous production that will likely follow your sugar-induced headache.

Since the icing (oops) and cake mix was so lumpy it was near impossible to smooth out the candy coating, which therefore made it impossible to write on with food markers. It was as if the markers had a secret meeting after watching me from the counter and were all, WE WILL BE NO PART OF THIS.

When I  told to my dad about The Baby Face Cake Pop Disaster of 2013 he said, “That reminds me of this restaurant we used to go to where they’d bring out this bread that was so ugly…but it tasted delicious!”

Thankfully, like the bread, all our guests enjoyed the taste of the cake pops and forgave the presentation.

On the upside, when I asked our guests what they thought was decorating the cake pops my friend Tanya sweetly asked, “A pacifier?”

On the down side my friend Juhi said, “Oh…they only have one eye?”

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  10 comments for “Bakerella would not be proud

  1. Nesima
    July 19, 2013 at 3:50 PM

    lolol i’m sorry they didn’t turn out the way you expected but cake pops taste good regardless of how they look from my experience :D

  2. janine
    July 19, 2013 at 11:47 AM

    OMW Sabrina this post made me laugh so much and I was in the bus, while I was reading it! The pic totally cracked me up!

  3. Farah
    July 19, 2013 at 12:40 AM

    Bahahahahaaaa!!!! this gave me a good chuckle. I have done this enough times where I’ve now learned not to get too ambitious with new recipes right before a party. in any case, did they taste good? congrats again :)

  4. July 18, 2013 at 2:32 PM

    I must say, I enjoyed your post a lot. I love Bakerella and see all her pops and treats but commend you for trying! I haven’t as I know from cake decorating in the past that there are easy ones, and then the not so easy ones. I remember trying my hand and “easy” pointsettia flowers from a wilton cake class, and they looked, well, not good. But after trial and error and many classes I did a lot better. Keep trying.. (PS. Love the name of your blog!)

  5. July 18, 2013 at 11:21 AM

    We’ve all been there, baking fails are inevitable. As long as they taste good!

  6. Peggy L.
    July 17, 2013 at 7:32 PM

    I laughed myself sick because I understand this all too well.

    You are going to make a fabulous mother. How do I know? The post and the previous one. Humor and wisdom are your gifts and you know how to use them. :)

  7. Li
    July 17, 2013 at 5:04 PM

    Hahaha! :) I wouldn’t have done any better…

    Oh and subhanAllah I just thought I’d write you an email to ask if you had a PO Box! Great minds think alike Afsana ;)

  8. July 17, 2013 at 3:48 PM

    LMBO! I promise, I don’t take delight in your mishap, but I am SOOO glad to know that I am not the only person who had a horrible first attempt at making cake pops. I made some for a coworker that we had a surprise baby shower for and needless to say, I ended up racing to the bakery at the last minute for a cake that didn’t look like something I scooped out of a diaper.

    On another note, I really think you should set up a PO Box so we can throw you a virtual baby shower. That probably makes me sound a little stalkerish, but you really do become sort of like an extended family member for those of us reading your blog. :-)

  9. Nazih
    July 17, 2013 at 3:21 PM

    This post is awesome. I literally laughed out loud as I read number 5 hahahaha!

    People make recipes seem like it’s all easy peasy to make and then you find yourself covered in flour and cursing at your baking supplies LOL.

  10. Lat
    July 17, 2013 at 2:10 PM

    Haha so funny! Cake pops ARE hard to make… I made them twice…and the first time around, my sister and I were laughing our heads off at how ridiculous and messy things got. SO delicious though! :D

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