Health insurance representative, on Wednesday:
Him: Okay, first. Are you employed?
Him: What do you do?
Me: I’m a writer.
Him: So are you self employed?
Me: Kind of.
Him: Do you make any money?
Him: Do you get a weekly or bi-weekly pay stub?
Him: Okay, great. Then when you fill out this form you’re considered unemployed. You’ll have to submit an income tax return with your application, but make sure you check the box that says unemployed.
Health insurance representative, on Thursday
Me: Hi, I was calling because I had another question about the application I’m submitting.
Her: Okay. First. Are you employed?
Her: You don’t have a job?
Her: Do you have any source of income?
Her: So you’re employed?
Me: Well, not technically. I’m a freelance writer so…
Her: DO YOU MAKE ANY MONEY?
Me: Uh…yes…but it’s not a lot…
Her: So then you’re employed?
Me: Well the gentleman I spoke with yesterday said if I don’t receive pay stubs than I’m considered unemployed for the purposes of submitting my application.
Her: Okay. THAT’S COMPLETELY WRONG.
Her: If you make any money you’re considered employed.
Me: So then I have to say that I’m employed on the application I fill out?
Her: Yes, and you have to have proof of self-employement.
Me: Okay, what type of proof?
Her: Do you get weekly or bi-weekly pay stubs?
I can’t you guys. Seriously. I just can’t.