A real-life Groundhog Day

Health insurance representative, on Wednesday:

Him: Okay, first. Are you employed?

Me: No…not…no.

Him: What do you do?

Me: I’m a writer.

Him: So are you self employed?

Me: Kind of.

Him: Do you make any money?

Me: Yes.

Him: Do you get a weekly or bi-weekly pay stub?

Me: No.

Him: Okay, great. Then when you fill out this form you’re considered unemployed. You’ll have to submit an income tax return with your application, but make sure you check the box that says unemployed.

Health insurance representative, on Thursday

Me: Hi, I was calling because I had another question about the application I’m submitting.

Her: Okay. First. Are you employed?

Me: No.

Her: You don’t have a job?

Me: No.

Her: Do you have any source of income?

Me: Uh…yes.

Her: So you’re employed?

Me: Well, not technically. I’m a freelance writer so…


Me: Uh…yes…but it’s not a lot…

Her: So then you’re employed?

Me: Well the gentleman I spoke with yesterday said if I don’t receive pay stubs than I’m considered unemployed for the purposes of submitting my application.


Me: Oh.

Her: If you make any money you’re considered employed.

Me: So then I have to say that I’m employed on the application I fill out?

Her: Yes, and you have to have proof of self-employement.

Me: Okay, what type of proof?

Her: Do you get weekly or bi-weekly pay stubs?

I can’t you guys. Seriously. I just can’t.

  7 comments for “A real-life Groundhog Day

  1. April 12, 2013 at 12:33 PM

    And I thought the French administration was the worst… Different toilets, same crap!

  2. February 25, 2013 at 12:58 PM

    Lol, how annoying.

  3. Lonesha
    February 18, 2013 at 11:28 AM

    Ok, so normally, I just read and enjoy your posts… but today I had to comment. This is HILARIOUS. We’ve all had experiences like this.

    • February 20, 2013 at 10:50 AM

      @Lonesha Ugg! And aren’t they the worst! The simplest things tend to be the most complicated!

  4. February 4, 2013 at 6:34 AM

    What a crappy experience. Things have certainly changed since the first time I ever worked in a call center. Sorry you had to go through that. Do you get 1099’s at the end of the year? I think those should work.

  5. LK
    February 2, 2013 at 10:42 AM

    You poor thing lol Its a hard question to answer though because you do get PAID but you aren’t employed by a company. I would think their concern is geared to employed or unemployed by a company or significant self employment (You own a company and pay yourself. In this case, there would be pay stubs too). But you are not self employed you are a freelancer which falls closer to unemployment or temporary employment if its a long assignment.

    They just want to make sure you can pay your insurance bills.

    Good luck!

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