Looking to now
Posted on January 8, 2013
Filed Under Daily, Family | 6 Comments
The last time I spent a significant amount of time at home with my family in Northern Virginia was earlier this year. At the time I was deeply saddened to learn that Little BFF was having a challenging time with one of her teachers at school who on several occasions made Little BFF feel incredibly anxious, uneasy and “not smart.”
One morning Little BFF and I sat together at the breakfast table and she detailed to me several incidents with her teacher while pushing her waffles around in her plate with little interest in eating. Then she looked me straight in the eyes and said, “I just wish I was older. I bet nobody treats you this way.”
Of course that wasn’t true. I had been made to feel lousy by others in my adult life, and I tried my best to explain that to her. While being older did make a lot of things easier, being older also made a lot of things more complicated. But this conversation with Little BFF also made me remember how life used to be during the final months of my senior year in college. In some ways that was the perfect age. My roommates and I relaxing in our apartment without a care in the world. I’d lay on the sofa soaking in the golden afternoon light watching the birds hop along the bend of pavement outside through our glass door. I would remind myself to live in every ray of sun and feeling of freedom because life would never, ever be exactly the way it was in those moments again.
But while those moments were a wonderful part of my life and have created cherished memories in my heart, I don’t long for that time back because every year and every stage brings about something new and exciting. It’s true that some years might bring about more challenges, but even those challenges are an opportunity for self discovery, gratitude and growth.
Little BFF nodded her head and wiped away tears while we chatted. At the time we were 10 and 28 years old respectively and I told her that both those numbers carried with them feelings of burden and joy, hope and fear. But what was even better than wishing ourselves into the future, or back into the past, was to focus on everything we had at that very moment that made us happy. Our best friendship…and waffles.
From Uzma’s wedding album, 2009: Little BFF and me listening to someone speak at the podium.
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6 Responses to “Looking to now”
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Salam, What an excellent conversation you’ve had with little BFF. I am a teacher and to hear that a child has felt this way, and a teacher displayed this kind of attitude really upsets me. No child should feel helpless like this. It stifles her growth in the class and her attitude towards learning, adults and school. It’s wicked! I hope her parents talk to this teacher and explain how she feels. Then they can get an idea themselves of what’s going on with this and put a stop to it. Children are more adaptable than adults are so changing classes might be a good thing. If I had this little BFF in my class I know I would cherish her greatly! I would be greatly remorseful if I ever felt a child felt such a way in my classroom.
@Jodi WS. Yeah, there was some family intervention (parent-teacher meeting, parent-principal-teacher meeting, etc.) and unfortunately this teacher had a lot of personal issues that were coming in to the classroom — shere were complaints from several students and parents that year. The good news is Little BFF is in a new grade now and she LOVES her teacher! And inshallah whatever issues were plaguing the other teacher will hopefully work out for the best.
Glad that she is out of that teachers’s class/negative situation . Alhamdulilah I think having a good support system at home must have helped her with her confidence and self esteem too.(Loads of love/dua to her !)
Another beautiful pic by the way
thanx for sharing !
What a terrible thing for her to have experienced! I agree with Jodi. I’m a teacher as well, and personal drama is not an excuse to abuse others, especially children. Wishing her the best in all her future educational endeavors. And I’m sorry that others have made you feel lousy. Hatin’ on others is so common, and so much more hurtful than people even bother to consider. Hope you all are having a lovely day/evening and not lettin’ the hate get to you!
So glad that little BFF is in a good classroom with a better teacher. She seems like a joyful little person and I hope this new teacher encourages and nurtures her. Thanks for the update – I was going to ask if things had gotten better.