I’ve always had a pretty good idea of who I was and where I wanted to be in my life. But the last few months of a year now in the past were often filled with a part of me wandering blindly. The days would come and go and I would sink into that dark place that would bury me alive and set fire to the precious hours that lay at my feet as regret and ash.
The sun would rise and set again and again. Sometimes it took days for me to come out on the other side and this beloved man would wait patiently for me to emerge back into the woman he has always loved with so much passion, loyalty, generosity and kindness.
I spent most of December with my family and my weeks old niece who has stolen a tiny piece of my heart. The time away from New York was much needed though I was blissfully happy to return to The Boss’s arms after my weeks away from him. I was even happier when we both hit the road again so he could meet my sister’s daughter.
The last few months have been a great time of reflection for me and I’ve had to peel back a few layers to remember who I am. But I think I’m getting there. In the days ahead I want to be focused on reclaiming my strength from anything or anyone who has ever tried to make me feel less than. I want to refocus my spiritual energies and open my heart to the wave of love and gratitude that has the power to wash away the bitter taste and sadness that has often consumed me.
I am working toward who I want to be and I won’t allow myself to drown in the person I am not yet.