Sure to make my mama proud
Posted on May 2, 2011
Filed Under Daily | 12 Comments
It’s not that The Boss and I don’t toot, or don’t pee with the door open, or try to cover up the fact that, yeah, we poop only with each other, it’s just that as individuals, we’re not those people. I was never that person with my girlfriends in high school, or roommates and teammates in college. The last time I purposely passed gas in front of someone, it wasn’t technically even in front of someone. My gas passing was just a way to annoy my sister when I was a kid. I’d run into her room, fart on one of her pillows and then tell her I did it. When she started screaming and chasing me around the house, I’d taunt her with, “AND YOU’LL NEVER KNOW WHICH ONE!”
I realize that “body functions” (as we so tactfully refer to this topic on Newlyweds Dish) are a natural part of life. And some people will argue that my husband’s and my level of privacy regarding this matter is abnormal. But I’d argue that a complete lack of privacy is what’s really abnormal. I understand being together during childbirth. I understand rubbing your partner’s back, or holding their hair while they vomit. I even understand (and have a deep respect for) people who care for their spouses in very intimate ways during illness. But the idea of letting someone, ANYONE watch you poop or pee ON PURPOSE, BLOWS.MY.MIND.
In our faith, there are certain levels of modesty that are maintained and respected between a husband and wife, and this isn’t just about respecting your partner, it’s about respecting yourself. I realize that most people who have kids don’t have the luxury of privacy like they used to, and when I say (because I’m about to say it) that my kids will NEVER, EVER watch me poo or pee, I know that some of you are actually YELLING AT YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW.
But don’t worry, The Boss and I have already discussed the possibility of one of us having to use the bathroom while we’re alone with a small child that belongs to us. And we’ve already found a solution: We’ll invest in a crate. Yes, A CRATE. It’s the simplest way to ensure that our children remain safe while we handle our business…IN PRIVATE.
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This post was awesome! Love it. Too each his and her own. If you wanna pee in the same room as your spouse or child, so be it. If you want privacy, so be it.
But, carrying a crate around in public in case you need to take your toddler into a public restroom and they have to be in the stall with you will either A)Wear you out quickly or B)Give you amazing arms.
hahah ewewew no no privacy all the way with a spouse,keeps the charm,noone needs to have a visual of the other going on the chair,but I agree with a child ,theyll follow you in sometimes and well sometimes if you leave em theyll scream till ur deaf so get earplugs as well haha
Oh Sabrina, you have much to learn. Children will follow you in the bathroom and carry on a conversation as if you are doing nothing but sitting on the potty. Even when you say you need your privacy, they don’t leave. Sometimes they just hang out and play on the bathroom floor!
As for he crate thing, the Dept. of Social Services, once they find out, might just ring your doorbell. Hopefully you will not be sitting on the potty………
As for telling me you farted on your sister’s pillow, I want to thank you for giving me ideas to tell Aydin what to do when she stays with us for a few months. Just don’t tell her!
PS. Aydin does not hide the fact he toots loudly and regularly.
I will never purposely go to the toilet or fart in front of anyone. There are some things that are not for sharing!
couldn’t you use a playpen instead of a crate?
well, sometimes Sabrina, the best method is actually the cage. You see, Tavish and Pierson will actually not allow the usage of the facilities without their presence, and so the only thing we can do to remedy that is the barbed wire cage under the basement stairs. i mean, SURE, we forget about them in there sometimes, but it’s never longer than a few hours. just long enough for me to slam a few drinks and pass out on the couch first.
ps… i am going to remember your words right now about your kids never watching you poop or pee.
i have ONE question for you. WHAT are you going to do if you are out in public and need to use a public restroom?
you can’t leave your child outside the stall, and you cant leave the door open, you must bring the baby in!
the best part is… sometimes the stroller wont fit! so guess what you get to do?
HOLD YOUR BABY ON YOUR LAP WHILE YOU POO.
MUAH HA HA HA HAH A HA HA HA
i am laughing so hard right now just picturing this scenario and you being all “i SWORE i would never pee with my kids!”
oh my little sabrina… my what an imagination you have!
Lol, Sabrina, I am with you 100%. Since we moved to a new apartment in December, I’ve had to either use the “running water” idea, or take my laptop with me (which my fiance and I always joke about.. ) because our fan makes no noise, and there is a one inch gap between the bottom of the door and the floor, which means that you can hear everything. I hate it. My fiance does not use the running water or the music idea, however, so I need to play music or plug my ears when he is in there.. just to keep the romance for a bit longer
Kids, on the other hand, are a different story. It didnt bother me when my nephew (who was 3 1/2 at the time) came into the bathroom with me, as I was helping to potty train him. But this year will be different, because he is potty trained, so I get some privacy back.
Ahhh,how I reminisce fondly on the days of privacy. Of course my husband and I keep our toots to ourselves (unless I make a bad decision and eat ice cream. In that case, my lactose intolerance seizes all control over my toots). With 4 kids though, I can’t imagine privacy anymore. Even my cat has no regard for my time in the bathroom and prances on in to sit by my feet. Now THAT is awkward. Things weren’t always that way, though. I’ll share the day that everything went terribly wrong:
I had been taking Colace (a…ummm…softener of sorts) and after about 3 days, it decided to kick in while I was in a discount store with three of my kids, shopping for curtains. It hit all of a sudden, and there was no way to make it home. I had the kids hold on to the sides of the cart while I ran through to store to the restroom, only to be told that the cart could not come inside. So of course the kids came into the stall with me and I had each one turn and face a wall while I prepped the seat with my Lysol and disposable seat covers(You will find after you have kids that these are a necessity to keep in your purse. Kids will undoubtedly have to pee everywhere you go). None of them knew what was going on so when one of my twins yelled: “OH MY GOD! It stinks in here!” I was horrified. He even looked under the wall into the stall next to us to see if the lady in there was the one responsible. My youngest was afraid of the power flush from the stall next to us, and came over to wrap his arms tightly around my neck. While I was on the toilet.
I shared that story to let you know that despite the best of intentions, privacy does not exist once children do.
I recently got married as well, when it comes to toilet boundaries, actually i’ve never given a thought to it until your video. I didnt feel the need for privacy when there is an urgent need, like i really need to go and he is in the bathroom. We dont have kids yet but i think i’d not like my kids in the toilet with me,or maybe it will be different when they do come along
My husband and I have always been open with this issue. I think it started with the fact that my family (namely my brother and myself) have always been open about these things. I grew up playing a farting game. My brother would have conversations with me while he was on the toilet. It was just a normal part of life for me and I never thought to be modest about the issue while dating.
After a while in our relationship, my husband informed me that he was so relieved and felt so much more relaxed in my presence after I introduced him to the farting game I played growing up because he didn’t have to feel ashamed of himself for farting.
We don’t necessarily seek out situations where we can go in front of one another, we take our privacy when we can get it. But, if it’s not available then so be it.