Me vs. Newbie vs. Yugoslavia
Posted on February 22, 2010
Filed Under Daily, Life in L.A., The Boss | 14 Comments
Does everyone know what this is?
If you said, “a roll of quarters,” you are SO wrong. And you will not be advancing to the next round. If you said, “the lifeline of apartment living,” you just got 10 million points, and I will put a star next to your name in my book. It’s a special book full of special things. You’re welcome.
Each one of these rolls is worth $10. That’s like EIGHT LOADS OF LAUNDRY. Doing the laundry is my domestic responsibility, which I happily accepted after The Boss and I got married because he traded me that for cleaning the bathroom. Our entire marriage is a series of intricate and methodical systems, which we put lots of thought into. Want to resolve a conflict? Play Rock, Paper, Scissors. BAM! PROBLEM.SOLVED.
So each week, I go to the bank with a $20 bill, and exchange it for two rolls of quarters. I simply walk to the teller window, hand over my $20, teller slips two rolls of quarters under the glass, and I’m on my way. Of course there’s always that one newbie that pops in from time to time and attempts to challenge my VIP status with his ignorance. One day I went to the bank, slipped my $20 under the glass, and Newbie goes, “Do you want to make a deposit?” The soundtrack to my life came to a screeching halt, and the teller plugged his ears obviously unaware that his NOT KNOWING ANYTHING caused the magical deejay that follows me around to stop the music suddenly and without warning.
“No, I need quarters,” I said.
“Do you need two rolls?”
Are you kidding me?
“Yes,” I said. “I need two rolls.”
I held the tiny treasures close to my body, and the deejay restarted the track as I left the bank.
When I got home, The Boss called to say he was swinging in to have lunch with me, and when he arrived, I emptied some quarters on the table in an attempt to show off, and that’s when we both saw this.
Notice anything out of place? Anything that doesn’t belong?
Oh Newbie, you really messed up this time.
As The Boss and I examined the coin, he goes, “Is that the new nickel?” and I was all, “THAT is NOT American!” and he’s like, “What does it say, Yugoslavia?” And I’m all, “I don’t know, it’s not written in English” and he goes, “Does Yugoslavia even exist anymore?”
So not only did Newbie give me a foreign coin, he gave me a foreign coin to a place that doesn’t even exist. So basically, if I happened to be traveling overseas, got lost, and somehow ended up in the FORMER Yugoslavia and needed to make a collect call, I wouldn’t be able to.
Nice move, Newbie.
“He gave me a fake quarter, AND he owes my deejay overtime!” I shouted.
“Your deejay?”
“Yeah. He was still on the clock when Newbie stopped the music!”
“Okay, Wow.”
That’s usually what The Boss says when he wishes he were me.
“If the machines at a bank thought it was a quarter,” he said. “Then anything else you put it in will think it’s a quarter, too.”
Naturally, I was all, “GUMBALL MACHINE!” but The Boss goes, “Or we could use it for laundry.”
A gumball would have been SUCH a better idea.
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14 Responses to “Me vs. Newbie vs. Yugoslavia”
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“Man in the early times was almost naked, and as his intellect evolved he started wearing clothes. What I am today and what I’m wearing represents the highest level of thought and civilization that man has achieved, and is not regressive. It’s the removal of clothes again that is regressive back to ancient times” - Nobel laureate, Tawakul Karman, in response to journalists who said her hijab was not proportionate with her level of intellect and education.
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On Newlyweds-Dish: How are you making a change in your community?
“Man in the early times was almost naked, and as his intellect evolved he started wearing clothes. What I am today and what I’m wearing represents the highest level of thought and civilization that man has achieved, and is not regressive. It’s the removal of clothes again that is regressive back to ancient times” - Nobel laureate, Tawakul Karman, in response to journalists who said her hijab was not proportionate with her level of intellect and education.
Want to know the truth about Shari'ah and how this Islamic law effects the U.S. Constitution? Watch the videos below.
“Man in the early times was almost naked, and as his intellect evolved he started wearing clothes. What I am today and what I’m wearing represents the highest level of thought and civilization that man has achieved, and is not regressive. It’s the removal of clothes again that is regressive back to ancient times” - Nobel laureate, Tawakul Karman, in response to journalists who said her hijab was not proportionate with her level of intellect and education.
Want to know the truth about Shari'ah and how this Islamic law effects the U.S. Constitution? Watch the videos below.
Want to know the truth about Shari'ah and how this Islamic law effects the U.S. Constitution? Watch the videos below.
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Lol at least it still worked.
And is Yugoslavia not a country anymore? When did this happen.
you should have kept it!
What if it were worth more than a quarter? Now you’ll never know!
LOL I wonder what it was actually worth
Gumball would have been better
I agree, you should have kept it. But at least you have pictures to prove that you had it.
OK just to add more info. this was the currency of yogoslav states and serbia. Both these sites have a picture of the the coin you point out.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serbian_dinar
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yugoslav_dinar
Woah. This might seem unrelated or whatev, but I never got the whole concept of going someplace else to do your laundry. It’s so weird!
hahaha u remind me of me so much when I used to have to do coin laundry. Every quarter was gold. Apparently there is a way to cheat the laundry machine….how I know, don’t ask. Just ask google:)
I got a Caribbean quarter one time like that and you’re lucky it worked. Mine’s still in this pocket of my wallet since all the vending machines won’t take it and the lady at the convenience store called me out like I was trying to pull something over on her.
I mean I was (lol) but I JUST wanted to spend that thing.
LOL. Anyone who lives in apartment also knows how precious quarters are. If they don’t know they will when one quarter stands between them and dry clothing.
A roll of quarters is like heaven. Which reminds me…I need to go to the bank.
I would have gone with the gumball machine as well
LOL. So so random. Why did you open the roll of quarters before you needed to!! That’s against the rules. You only add to the quarter pile, not take quarters away!
This one brought back memories! It also reminded me why, for the first year of living in this house, I wanted to hug my washer every time it worked just by pushing the button