Better Late Than Never?
Posted on January 16, 2010
Filed Under Daily, Videos | 16 Comments
Most of us aren’t the same person we were a few years ago, and until the day we die, life will remain a constant journey of change and growth. There will be moments which we dictate, and moments we have to survive, and to only further cement a cliché into the mostly lame advice given to us by society, the ultimate goal for all of us is to live life without regrets. For some people that means doing it all without thought or boundaries, while for others it means to live consciously every day while maintaining an acute awareness of your thoughts, feelings and actions; I can vouch that the latter can often be grueling.
Over the last few years, my growth and journey into Islam has been under the ever-looming shadow of moments I wish never happened, things I wish I never did or said, and people I wish I never brushed elbows with. I often think about who I was prior to my God-guided awakening of what it means to be a living, breathing, human part of society, and the regrets are still there — sometimes met with repentance, sometimes met with arrogance, but always met with the same question: How do I make this right?
Maybe sometimes it’s safer to let things go, or maybe it’s only right to reach out to the people we’ve hurt. I don’t have the right answer, and life is so situational, chances are that no one really does. It’s never made a difference to me what people think of who I am, but for the people I wronged from my past life, I often wonder if they deserve to know that the person I am today has come face-to-face with the biggest breakthrough of all — that of realization.
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16 Responses to “Better Late Than Never?”
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I rocked these bangs for my 4th grade yearbook photo. (Read more about my younger years)
I met Rihanna while working as a reporter. So fun!
Sabrina on YouTube: Athletica sports hijab and dance dares!
On Newlyweds-Dish: Happy Mother's Day!
On Newlyweds-Dish: Happy Mother's Day!
“Man in the early times was almost naked, and as his intellect evolved he started wearing clothes. What I am today and what I’m wearing represents the highest level of thought and civilization that man has achieved, and is not regressive. It’s the removal of clothes again that is regressive back to ancient times” - Nobel laureate, Tawakul Karman, in response to journalists who said her hijab was not proportionate with her level of intellect and education.
Want to know the truth about Shari'ah and how this Islamic law effects the U.S. Constitution? Watch the videos below.
Want to know the truth about Shari'ah and how this Islamic law effects the U.S. Constitution? Watch the videos below.
Salam,
I share your views. I think we should ask ALLAH for forgiveness for our past mistakes. At the same time we should try NOT to make them again. My journey to Islam occured for 5 years ago. Now I’m 24 and I thank ALLAH for that Enlightenment. It wasn’t easy and as you have stated what happened to your Mom when she started observing the hijab happened to me too. It was VERY PAINFUL to see how people would underestimate and taunt you. But as my Mom says, this is ALLAHS way to show you human nature and how people ACTUALLY are.
I’m not really sure, I’ve been thinking about this for a while myself. I don’t want to bring something up if the person in question has moved on – I keep asking myself am I being selfish? Am I just trying to clean my own conscience regardless of that other person? What if it’s not best for them? Sure, we seek Allah’s help, guidance and forgiveness, but isn’t it so that Allah won’t forgive an action that’s directed at another person unless we ask forgiveness from that person? And that, is where I get stuck.
I am actually a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. Because of this I have had to make a LOT of amends with people. I know that this has helped me so much with making a fresh start as a clean, sober person, but also as a new Muslim (I am also a revert to Islam, alhumdulilah). Above all else, asking Allah for forgiveness is the most important, but I also think that admitting your wrongs and showing how you have changed as a person to those you have hurt helps SO MUCH with moving on with your life.
Just my two cents
I wish you the best of luck, Sabrina. I’m sure you will do fine
I like your outlook on life. InshaAllah you find what you’re looking for
you’re hilarious
that wasn’t sarcasm either!
Umm..I personally would try and contact people who I have hurt or have mistreated.Its about asking for forgiveness..and I dont think it makes you seem weak or inferior, b/c it actually makes us stronger. I would want someone to apologize to me, if they should for any reason.It doesnt matter if the person ignores you, or lashes at you for your past mistakes.You did all you could to be forgiven and that should be enough.So yes,if you feel like emailing, do it.You never want to think back years from now,if only…
I’ve thought about this a lot at various points in my life. And I’ve thought about it from the other side of the deal as well, being the person who has been wronged by someone else. There have been a few such instances in my life where a person whom I trusted deeply wronged me in a big way, and it took me a long time to move past it, however the hurt always remained in the back of my mind knowing that someone could be cruel and not even feel bad about it. Alhumdulilah though, in more than one instance, that person got in touch with me, much much later, to apologize sincerely. It was surprising to me how much it helped, just knowing that on the other end, there Was remorse, regret, and that the person felt so compelled to convey this to me personally. It was a simple email, but did a lot for me personally.
And I admit, I have done the same in the past where I felt I had wronged someone in turn. The key point is, you should be doing it for the person whom you wronged, not for your own sense of satisfaction or to relieve your own guilt.
I think its important to ask for their forgiveness whether they’ll accept it or not… at least you’ve put an effort to make amends. And who knows maybe one day they’ll check out your blog and end up loving it and you’ll be the best of friends ever…
Or not.
Oh question… where do you get your hijabs from?
I’ve been meaning to ask for forgiveness, but it was when I was under 12 years of age, so do I bring it up, hopefully they have forgotten,( nah), maybe sometimes it’s better not to rake the past or what if they go around tellin everyone I apologised for somethin I did when I was ten. Also, just cuz I changed, what if the person I apologise to hasnt matured.
hahahahhaahaha
i love you
My heart feels heavy after reading this. Something Im currently struggling with. Im not who I was but people who knew me back then cant accept the change in me. I dont need anyones approval but I do wonder if asking for forgiveness is an important step in moving on.
Also do you think its important to tell people you meet about these past mistakes prior to religious enlightenment…Im talking about potential spouse etc?…I feel like everything I have done in my life, good and bad, makes me who I am. But I dont want the bad to define me.
i love the lipsticks u wear – pls give us a makeup lesson
I have struggled with wanting to make amends too. At some point in the past year, I recognized that forgiving myself and ceasing to make myself feel awful is what the situation calls for. I think you’re right that people usually don’t realize or acknowledge that others aren’t always who they were in the past, and I’m really not interested in reminding anyone of former pain.
When I first read this entry, it didn’t register with me, until today! I was reminded of the same thing that you talked about here.
When I was in my very teenage stage of life, I was a bit of a bully and I used to bully this girl. And when maturity sets in, I used to feel this very deep sense of regret of what I did towards this girl. I prayed that I will be given the chance to see her again, and if I ever did, I will apologise to her.
One day a few years ago, by chance, I did saw her again in a mall. To my surprise, she came straight to me and apologised first! I guess both of us must have done some terrible stuff to each other. I am so grateful for the chance to see her again, and I apologised to her. The sense of relief that came after that is undescribable.
It made me realise something, that all person who was horrible (my teenage self included) was only horrible because of our circumstances. She was in a terrible place, personally – and I was in a very messy terrible place myself. And once both of us grew out of it, we became like totally normal nice person! I mean, when I met her again, she is this really lovely girl.
Sorry if this has become an entry on it’s own. I just need to share this sudden thought and memory that came to me today