10 Things I Will Never Understand
Posted on November 3, 2009
Filed Under Daily | 16 Comments
10. Why butter makes you fat. Why couldn’t it have been like bananas or juice boxes? Why is it butter? I want an answer.
9. The Dunbar trucks that carry all that loot, and then have people with guns hiding in the back. If you want to transport money safely, forget the heavy armor, and try being inconspicuous. Why not just shove the millions into the trunk of a Prius? That’s like, way more unsuspecting, and no one could possibly get hurt.
8. Why girls scream when they see celebrities. And what exactly is it that everyone is screaming?
7. Why no one in my family will rock a SliceofLemon.com bumper sticker on their car. I’m hurt.
6. Why I always get lost. I can plug my destination into my GPS, print directions off Google and Rand McNally — I can ask a friend, and it could be broad daylight. Yet somehow, I find myself in situations where I rarely ever know where I’m going. I think it might actually be a diagnosable condition that has yet to be diagnosed.
5. Why candles don’t last longer. I mean, you pay like $12 for something that’s as small as a kitten’s skull, and the whole thing burns in 3 days. And what are you supposed to do with all that surrounding wax that’s left over? It doesn’t seem right.
4. Why “Towel Head” is supposed to be an insult. No one has ever called me that, but if they did, I wouldn’t get the reference anyway. In fact, I didn’t even know that was supposed to be an insult directed at Muslims until recently. If you want to offend me, try telling me I smell. I probably wouldn’t believe you, but I’d be embarrassed nonetheless.
3. Why no one on TV can ever do a *really good* Indian accent. Apu from The Simpsons was a disgrace. The world needs to meet my neighbor. She will make everyone wet their pants. But in a good way. Though I’m not sure wetting your pants could ever be a good thing after age 2.
2. Why people say ‘hello’ when they call you. Like my phone rings and I pick up. Hello? And then they go, Hello? WHY ARE YOU SAYING HELLO? THAT’S MY LINE!
1. The Rat Tail. Enough said.
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16 Responses to “10 Things I Will Never Understand”
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My sister just asked me if I kept any of the notes we used to pass to each other in high school. When I said that I still have a bunch of them, she suggested that you post one of them – and then quickly changed her mind. That might be way too incriminating!
Lol @ That’s my line! I hate it when they ask who this is..UMMM you’re calling!
Why did Tina and I just post the same thing? Also a sidenote: I typed in slicelemon.com accidentally the other day and the site consisted of selling Indian drugs lol (idk if this has happen to anyone else!). Second sidenote: Ashkan use to have a rat tail according to Tina…do you remember this because I don’t!
ps. Never go to/ live in West Virgina because your list would be a lot longer!
Parisa. OH MY GOD. No! I don’t remember that at all! But I will definitely ask him about it, and if he says it’s true, I will probably not be his friend anymore. Also I laughed out loud (by myself) when I read your P.S. I can only imagine!
kitten skull? awkward…
my cousin had a rat tail. hi parents made him grow it. his brother cut if off one night while their parents weren’t looking. needless to say, we were all very relieved.
(why do we always go ahead and say what we were going to say, even though it was “needless to say”?)
I can relate to number 6. And if you’re anything like me, try not to drive while pregnant or even after having a baby. I got lost driving to the hospital post pregnancy; I’d been going there for 9 months =)
# 10. all what’s listed, can make you fat if eaten( or drunken) beyond comprehensible reason. I’m pretty sure. BUTTER YUMM!
# 7. I’d rock a SliceofLemon.com bumper sticker on my car, any time, any day. Just say it!
Peace
I think this list could go on and on. LOL
Solution for #5, that might help you save money and is fun:
You can make your own cool candles from the left-over wax! Just collect the wax and melt on the stove and dip candle string several times to the melted wax, until you get the desired result.
This was my favourite thing to do when I was a child. At Christmas time we always made candles at school during art lessons. Making candles, drinking spicy Christmas juice (a Finnish beverage called glogi), eating cinnamon cookies and listening to carols. Those were the days!
UMMM, hello! I lived in WV…I don’t have a rat tail and I am not a hillbilly LOL
10. What did butter do to deserve that? It’s delicious on everything…superior when cooking…plus when something is smooth they never say “like margarine” it’s always “like butta”
5. i get the reed diffusers now. candles just piss me off…
p.s. can you explain why people pass gas in an elevator when it’s just the TWO of you in there and you KNOW you did not have the bean burrito.
dont be sad if no one in your family didnt rock a sticker, If you want I’ll put slice of lemon on a billboard, and yaah not all in your familyyy will not sport one..
lol
and wuts with this rat tail?? i dont get it:S (i can be slow at times)
I’d like to add something to the list
You know when someone calls you and you barely miss the call and within a matter of seconds you call back and they don’t answer. It bothers me because, weren’t they just holding the phone in their hand? what did they do? hear voicemail pick up, drop the phone, and run??
Tehe I love this post!