Slice of Lemon

Everytime The Boss and I leave our place, we take the trash out to the dumpster downstairs, which is conveniently located about 30 feet from our parking spot. On our way outside, we pass the laundry room, which also happens to have a small trashcan, which is located about 30 feet from the big dumpster outside. For the last three months, everytime The Boss and I go outside with the trash, he always, without fail, throws the trash into the laundry room bin instead of in the big dumpster.

I’m always like, “Why don’t you just throw it in the big dumpster?” and he’s like, “Because this trash doesn’t have a lid, so I don’t have to lift that dirty top,” and I’m like, “Yeah, but that’s a little trash for the laundry, for like lint and dryer sheets, not for stinky kitchen and bathroom trash,” and he’s all, “A trashcan is a trashcan.”

I ordered something online that arrived in one of those large mailing envelopes. The Boss was on his way downstairs with the trash, so I handed him my envelope to throw away, and specifically reminded him NOT to throw our stuff out in the laundry room.

As far as I knew, my trash went into the big dumpster outside, and I never thought about it again.

But no, World. No.
My trash did NOT got into the big dumpster, where it’s supposed to go.
And I would never have known, had I not come home from work one afternoon, and seen this on our door.

That looks an awful lot like an envelope I asked The Boss to throw away for me a few days ago.
Why then, is that envelope taped to my door with a note?

So now our building manager thinks it was ME throwing MY trash in the laundry room the whole time, when all I ever throw in there is lint BECAUSE I AM CLEAN AND COURTEOUS JUST LIKE THE SIGN SAYS TO BE. And I hardly even have a case now because the envelope HAS MY NAME ON IT. Not only does our building manager think I was the guy leaving my crap in the laundry room when the big dumpster is hardly a five second walk away, but now I’m the guy throwing my crap in there after our building manager TAPES A SIGN RIGHT OVER THE TRASHCAN THAT SPECIFICALLY SAYS NOT TO THROW OUR TRASH IN THERE.

Let me be more specific.
The sign actually said, STOP.
As in, STOP THROWING YOUR CRAP IN HERE!

This calls for revenge.
The kind of revenge that makes you twist the ends of your imaginary mustache. The kind of revenge that makes you marvel at your own genius. The kind of revenge that cannot be plotted overnight…

What did I say? Something about forgiving each other, and turning the other cheek?
The jury will please disregard that last statement.

Comments

10 Responses to “Plotting My Revenge”

Ayesha on October 30th, 2009 2:21 am

Oh my God, this is totally what my husband would do grrr!
Are you seriously planning a revenge on the Boss now? =D Can’t wait to read about it. You seem like a smart chic; aim high (or low hehe)
Farah on October 30th, 2009 3:29 am

Wow, it seems like this is a man thing cuz my husband would totally do this too!! heck, he doesnt even bother touching the lid to the dumpster, he just throws the garbage on top, even if the lid is closed!!!
Muslim Hippie on October 30th, 2009 5:25 am

I can’t believe your husband did that even after the note. Revenge it is dear friend!

I didn’t vote in the alcohol/drug one coz there was no option for if I thought they’re both pretty harmful.
samiya on October 30th, 2009 8:12 am

OOOPS! The Boss, I would watch out, if I were you.. somebody is pretty pissed

My Boss, does the same with his stinky socks.. no matter if I leave the laundry bin open, so he just needs to throw it in like a basketball.. it ALWAYS ends up at the floor! so in the end I need to pick it up.
Muslim Girl on October 30th, 2009 12:30 pm

Wow lol I would get mad at my husband if he did that. I guess this is where “sabr” comes into play
Humaira on October 30th, 2009 2:24 pm

Revenge is a dish best served cold. But in this case, it sounds like the twirling mustaches kind! Can’t wait to see what you have planned!
Jen on October 30th, 2009 2:51 pm

Oh dude..it’s totally on. I think you should make an envelope with HIS name on it and pop it in there..hahah.

Just don’t get thrown out of your complex…please.
Ayesha on October 30th, 2009 6:43 pm

ITA with Jen =D Does he have a car? If he gets car papers that have info of his car etc on it, just take the same note you got and hang it with the car papers…ON HIS CAR!
Let the Boss think this dude knows where/what his car is hehehehe
Shahirah on October 31st, 2009 2:42 am

Lookin fwd to ur revenge!!! Make it huge pls!!!
MUAHAAHHHHAHAHAHAHHAHA! *ala dr evil*
kringe on November 1st, 2009 1:01 am

Yo, tell dude to follow the rules. Plain and simple. Who is he, anyways….. said like my neighbor from Florida… :000000

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Plotting My Revenge

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