We’re Madly in Love, I Swear.
Posted on August 31, 2009
Filed Under Daily, Life With The Boss | 18 Comments
I went to a private Methodist college so I was pretty much the only Muslim student on campus.
Well, that’s not entirely true.
There was one guy who was an exchange student from Turkey, but he once very matter-of-factly told me that he was “only Muslim in Turkey,” after I saw him in our student center ordering a BLT, and was all, “Dude, what’s good?”
And then school let out for spring break, and when he came back, he had this massive limp because he had been shot in the leg.
True story.
Campus rumors had it that his family had some ties to the mafia in New York, but my theory is that God was totally taking advantage of the Second Amendment. And when Turkey Boy ate pig flesh, the Good Lord aimed, and fired.
Even though I didn’t go to school with a large Muslim student body, or any sort of MSA, I was totally blessed to have a group of awesome friends (and roommates) that were right beside me on my journey into better understanding my faith. As I learned more, they learned more, and if I was doing something they thought was questionable, they’d grill me like a halal hot dog on the fourth of July.
If you know a little bit about Islam, then you know that Muslims are required to pray five times a day, which requires one to preform ablution, or the ritual washing, before prayer. Part of this washing includes washing the arms just past the elbows, and washing your feet, among a few other things.
One day, while I was still living in the dorms, I had just finished brushing my teeth in the bathroom, when one of my hall mates walked in. Some water had dripped down my arm, so I ripped a paper towel off the wall, dried my arm, and tossed it. As I was about to leave the bathroom, she blocked the door and goes, “Umm, aren’t you supposed to wash your feet too?”
It was seriously like the funniest thing ever.
For the past few years, I’ve been trying to learn more about my faith, and implement what I already know — and now that The Boss and I are married, we try to help each other with the struggles that each of us faces. Lucky for us, our strengths and weaknesses differ, so there’s always a helping hand when you need one.
But there is one exception.
And that exception goes by the name of “Fajr,” which is the first prayer of the day, preformed before sunrise. The waking-up part isn’t hard, it’s the getting-out-of-bed part that we both struggle with. But we’re sort of like lemmings, so when one person gets up, the other person follows close behind.
I don’t know if it’s the exhaustion of late nights at the mosque, early mornings for extra prayer, and fasting in the day that’s starting to set in, but the other morning, The Boss had a lot of trouble getting out of bed. I’ll be honest, Readers, usually I’m The Second Lemming, but since this is my blog, and I can write whatever I want, today I’m going to write about how I woke up first, and The Boss did not.
What’s that, Man in the Bed?
It’s not fair you say?
Well Bam Bam Bigelow IS DEAD! LIFE’S NOT FAIR!
So the other morning, I got up before him, went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came out, homeboy was still fast asleep. And I mean FAST asleep. Like, so heavily sleeping his breathing was shallow. And I already woke him up like six times.
It was time for a new approach.
I leaned in really close, and in a very gentle voice said, “Hey, Little Guy. Do you want to go to Hell Fire?” which apparently made him really mad, because he made this really awful face, grunted, rolled over to his other side, and buried his face in the pillow.
I would like to reiterate that I was *very gentle* in my delivery.
Looking at his face stuck in the pillow like that, I didn’t think he could breath, and I didn’t want to have a whole “asphyxiation” mess on my hands because if the cops came, I would have looked really guilty — and trust me, I’ve seen enough episodes of “SVU” to know how it goes down.
So I very gently pushed my fist into the pillow by his nose and mouth, and go, “Can you breathe?” and he goes, “Yeah, I could if I wanted to, but I’m holding my breath because it’s a free country,” so I was like, “Oh my God, you are SO cute. When do you turn 6?” and he’s like, “Why are you yelling at me?”
Mind you, Readers, I was NOT yelling.
But then I got annoyed that he falsely accused me of something I didn’t do, which I’m pretty sure is considered libel because I just published what HE said (and I’m considering filing a law suit as you read this very sentence) so then I go, “Oh, I’m sorry that I was just trying to SAVE YOUR SOUL!”
Eventually, he got out of bed, and stood by the window for a few minutes, which kind of freaked me out — like maybe he was saying a prayer against me or something. But then I remembered that you’re not allowed to pray against someone in Islam, which was a relief, but I counted all my fingers and toes after I got in bed anyway — you know, just in case.
13…14…15…16.
Yup, all there…
SIXTEEN???
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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18 Responses to “We’re Madly in Love, I Swear.”
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Yup, I know this type of “Ramadan fatigue” as well.
For me this is the first Ramadan in my life, since I’ve converted about a month ago. So, everything is so new, feeling of hunger and thirs (which has truly made me appreciate food!), praying 5 times a day, etc. etc. Luckily I have my precious boyfriend by my side as I explore the path Allah has shown me.
Thanks for your wonderful blog, Sabrina! I’m so addicted to it.
Blessed Ramadan, and greetings from Finland!
LOL, lucky you, you seem to have very funny “Fajr” time
))I am usually giving up after 4th or 5th shot… 
))
you’re like the halal version of the bloggess. ^_^
HAHAHA! Aw man, first well done for getting up. That’s so hard!
Second, you are such a good wife, trying to save your husbands soul and he doesn’t even appreciate it!
So cute! Fajar is my weakness…now i just need to find someone to drag me out of bed at that time :-/
Seems to me it’s easier to get up for Fajr when you have to have Suhuur beforehand. The rest of the year is the problem… But I totally know the feeling
BAAHAHAHA!
“I’ve seen enough episodes of “SVU” to know how it goes down.”
Classic.
LOL! You are cracking me up… “like a halal hotdog on the 4th.”
Ma sha Allah, ppl are funny when I was in college I had folks who’d try to keep me “in line as well”.
I’d leave a longer comment but it’s iftar time. I’ll be visiting the blog again.
“…homeboy was still fast asleep.”
Haha, I thought I was the only one to call my husband “homeboy.” Very cute and funny post.
Sabrina I think that I am addicted to your website. Every morning the highlite of my work day is that before I start any real work I get to read your website… it’s like a kid waiting for candy when I’m waiting for your website to load and then I read your post and go through the 3 daily’s,sometimes I read stuff twice and I check the examiner before I log off – it’s gotten to the point that I have to restrict myself to 15 – 30 mintues in the morning of Sabrina. You’re awesome.
Hhahahahah this post made me really laugh out loud, love it!!
hahaha!
good entry!
btw, aren’t you suppose to have 20 appendages?
why scream at 16?!
Only for a split second, I was wondering what you meant by Fajr. We call it subuh over here.
The impression I had from screaming at 16 was that there were supposed to be 4 more, but… weren’t
“And when Turkey Boy ate pig flesh, the Good Lord aimed, and fired.”
hahah
LOOOOOOL
You almost made me choke on my bagel from laughing!
But yeah it’s totally easier to get up for Fajr if you eat Suhoor beforehand (I tried not eating suhoor one time and let’s just say… never again, never again!)
And maybe the 16 toes were always there
LOL!
I, too find it hard getting up for fajr, the getting our of bed part is a mission and a half.
You could try splashing a bit of water, that really gets you up [and gets you mega annoyed]
hahah ur toooo funny!
I totally know the feeling, I totally hate having to wake my husband up. But he is hilarious, he’ll say the weirdest things like “have you fed the ducks yet”