It’s Not That Kind of Thong

Posted on August 26, 2009
Filed Under Daily | 20 Comments

So I just got done posting on the daily closet section of this site, where I happened to write the word “thong.”

You know, like thong sandals?

And it reminded me of a really funny, but unbelievably embarrassing story from when I was 15.

When I was in high school, I used to take SAT-prep classes with an Indian tutor — and if you live ANYWHERE in the D.C. Metropolitan Area then those two simple words “Indian tutor” probably just gave away his identity.

This tutor of mine was a genius. And trust me, I don’t throw that word around often, unless I’m talking about myself. When I say genius, I mean the guy is seriously so unbelievably smart it was frightening to watch him in action. But he was so smart, he was almost crazy. You know the type — like the mad scientist, can’t be contained type, that don’t have enough room in their bodies to hold all that information. He was eccentric to say the least.

So when I was 15, I started attending his classes a few times a week, and from time to time, I’d even go to one of his Saturday classes. One particular Saturday, my mom dropped me off, and when I walked into the classroom, I noticed that I was the only girl there. There were about 12 boys scattered around each table, our teacher (also of the male specimen) and me. Our tutor’s wife used to work with the students from time to time also, but because this is how the cookies in my life crumble, she wasn’t there that day.

I went to public school my whole life, so sharing a classroom with boys was nothing uncomfortable for me until our teacher pointed out how casually I happened to be dressed. Amid complete and utter silence, as every student is busily taking timed tests, this tutor looks up at me, and in a loud Indian accent shouts, “Sabrina is wearing a thong!”

My heart actually stopped beating in my chest, and I died. Everyone looked up from their books, and turned to me. My mouth was gaping open, and my tutor had a huge smile on his face.

But it didn’t stop there. He actually made a song out of it.

“A thong, a thong, two thongs, she likes to wear them because they’re comfortable….”

I had no idea what was going on, or what he was talking about. I looked down to make sure I had pants on — I DID — and I was pretty certain about the underwear I put on that morning NOT being a thong, but HE WOULDN’T STOP SINGING ABOUT MY THONG.

Needless to say, our teacher’s song was making all the high-school aged boys in the class snicker, and I could feel my face get so flushed, I thought my head was going to explode.

I was just staring at my teacher, who still had a big smile on his face, and he goes, “Where did you get your thong?” and I go, “What?” and he goes, “I have them too.”

Just as I was about to call my mom to tell her to COME GET ME NOW because this whole tutoring thing just went in a brand new direction, he moved his foot from under the table, revealing his “thong” sandals.

“Do you like mine?” he asked.

“Oh my God,” I said, also moving my feet from under the table into plain sight of the class, making sure everyone saw my SHOES.

“You were talking about my sandals?”

“Of course,” he said, the smile still plastered to his face. “What did you think I was talking about?”

From the corner of the room, his 8-year-old son looked up from his paper and goes, “You don’t want to know.”

Comments

20 Responses to “It’s Not That Kind of Thong”

Fatima on August 26th, 2009 7:04 pm

lololol.
i love how the son caught on but was too savvy not to say anything else.
Roshan on August 26th, 2009 7:09 pm

i would die lol
Jen on August 26th, 2009 7:35 pm

love it!
Jasmine on August 26th, 2009 7:52 pm

Hahaha, I can always rely on a Slice of Lemon to brighten up my morning. (You’re free to use that in any future commercials)
Mina on August 26th, 2009 8:38 pm

Omg poor you…but that was hilarious!
clare on August 26th, 2009 9:40 pm

Oh. Em. Gee.
I remember in high school when they went over the dress code, they would always say “no flip flops, thongs or zoris” which made everyone snicker but also wonder, WTF is a zori?
Except we didn’t say WTF then, or OMG, because it was Back In The Day.
Anyway awesome story.
Hamida on August 26th, 2009 11:48 pm

This made me laugh OUT LOUDDDD!!

Thanks for making me laugh!

I love your site!

salam,
Hamida
xxxxxxx
caraboska on August 26th, 2009 11:51 pm

About to fall off couch ) That eight-year-old’s reply was priceless…
st on August 27th, 2009 12:36 am

REALLY like the ice cream and cherries! x
Steph on August 27th, 2009 2:12 am

Hahaha I remember that guy! His house was so full of books you could barely walk around. I’m really glad he ALMOST talked about your underwear in front of the class. Perfection.
Humaira on August 27th, 2009 5:11 am

Aw you poor thing but so funny!
Carma on August 27th, 2009 5:45 am

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dying right now soo funny
Janine on August 27th, 2009 7:03 am

Hilarious! Sabrina you should have been a stand up comedian!
aaliyah on August 27th, 2009 2:10 pm

that made me giggle…funny stuff..
nashe on August 27th, 2009 2:27 pm

ZOMG! I would have asked him straight up what he was talking about! XD

(“Happy Ramadan” in your banner…with ice-cream and cherries?? WHAT!)
Nazih on August 27th, 2009 6:41 pm

HILARIOUS.
Nazih on August 27th, 2009 6:42 pm

Btw, LOVE the banner!
Muslim Girl on August 28th, 2009 1:34 am

LOL that was HILARIOUS!

Did he honestly not know what else he could have been referring to?!
WhiteOrchid on August 28th, 2009 1:35 am

LOL that must’ve been sooo embarrassing! oh poor u!
[[[ X SMILEY X ]]] on August 28th, 2009 8:20 am

LOL! that is hilarious!

I love your new banner! soo cute