If California breaks off the mainland, it won’t be because of global warming, It will be because of the five trillion tons of goose poop that fell from the sky right in the middle of L.A.

I went to school in Virginia Beach, which is only a few miles away from Norfolk Navy Base — the world’s largest Naval Station. My senior year of college, two of my girlfriends and I got an apartment close to the water, which was closer to the base than campus. When we got our place, [...]

Kajsa Blad bedding from Ikea

My dear friend Amy gave The Boss and I a gift card to Ikea for our wedding last year, and even though we had an Ikea close to us back on the east coast, we never visited the Swedish/now Dutch owned superstore together until we moved to L.A. Last month, while getting settled into our [...]

“Allah” means God, and if you didn’t already know that I’m glad I just told you otherwise this post wouldn’t be funny

Last summer, my “Sheikh,” or religion teacher, needed someone to watch his two youngest kids (who were 4 and 2 at the time) during the day for about a week while the family babysitter was in Syria on vacation. I decided to volunteer myself since I figured playing with his kids for five hours would [...]

A walk along the pier

My favorite thing about driving to the beach is when you get to that point where you can’t see anything beyond the horizon. That’s when you know that the ocean is near. That’s when you roll down your windows and you can actually smell the salt water in the air. It’s times like these that [...]

I’m pretty sure I saw Nicolas Sarkozy in a TSA uniform trying to get women to take off their clothes. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that’s what I saw.

Last week, as The Boss and I waited in the security line at Bradley International Airport to head back to L.A, I saw a huge machine that I had never gone through before. So I turned around to The Boss who was standing behind me taking off his shoes, and I was all, “Oh HELL [...]