At least I’m no ex-con (Martha Stewart totally can’t say that)

Posted on June 3, 2009
Filed Under Daily | 6 Comments

Every Sunday a group of about 12 of us gather at my mom’s house to remember the Lord.

Last Sunday, we had a party (after we were done remembering the Lord) in honor of these sisters (ages 7 and 10) who have been memorizing parts of the Qur’an, and have memorized four chapters so far. There are 30 chapters in the whole book, which means they have a ways to go, but it’s still quite the accomplishment.

Meanwhile (at age 25) I’m over here like, “Wait, if you fart while you’re praying, you have to start again? No one ever told me that.” (I probably should have paid more attention in Sunday School.)

So I asked our teacher if we could have a party and he was all “Sure!” and I was like, “Awesome! I’ll bake cookies!”

I bought two packs of the Pillsbury sugar cookie dough that you have to slice into half-inch pieces and just toss in the oven. The instructions said to put them in a pan two inches apart and let them cook for eight minutes at 350 degrees.

I did all of that (and I added sprinkles) but after five minutes the cookies started expanding and mutating like…you know, scary things that expand and mutate, and after eight minutes they were liquid mush.

I put them back in the oven for five minutes and when I took the pan out, it wasn’t pretty.

Cookie cakes are kind of cool too, I thought. So I let it cool and then tried to cut out slices, which totally didn’t work.

So I lifted up the giant cookie I made and saw this nonsense.

I managed to save one cookie, so I thought.

But looks can be deceiving.

Luckily, one of the women in our class happens to bake for her family every Sunday, and this day she was making home-made oatmeal raisin cookies. She brought a dozen to help save our party and my mom was able to salvage a few of the cookies that didn’t char and burn from another tray I had in the oven. Then I did what anybody would have done after a baking disaster — I called my cousin and asked her to pick up a bag of chips and box of cookies from the grocery store on her way over.

Moral of the Story, Kids: It’s a lot easier to get a job if you’ve never been arrested.

Comments

6 Responses to “At least I’m no ex-con (Martha Stewart totally can’t say that)”

Humaira on June 4th, 2009 10:24 am

Hey its not a bad attempt and the more you do it, the better you’ll get at it Inshallah!
Jen on June 4th, 2009 4:21 pm

LOL! Oh my! I bake A LOT for gifts (since ya know I’m broke) so here’s a couple of things I’ve found in my cookie-making career.

1. When it says “cookie sheet” use a cookie sheet. The sides on your pan interfered with the air flow to the sugar cookie therefore allowing the bottom to burn while trying to get the tops done.

2. Make sure your dough is super chilled and put onto a room temp pan. Never put cookies on a warm pan…ever.

3. Most cookies tend to finish baking outside the oven so you should actually pull them out before the 10 or 11 minute mark and let them cool on the sheet for 1-2 minutes to finish the process. Then remove to wax paper or a wire rack to cool. Resulting in the perfect cookie

4. Feel free to call me the next time you make cookies OR buy one of these and never burn a cookie again (hopefully)

http://www.target.com/AirBake-NonStick-2-pc-Cookie-Combo/dp/B001ORBJDA/sr=1-2/qid=1244130915/ref=sr_1_2/180-0310915-2683172?ie=UTF8&frombrowse=0&rh=k%3Aairbake%20bakeware&page=1

Love and happy baking!
Dedra on June 4th, 2009 6:12 pm

LMAO, exactly why I don’t bake because my brownies look like cakes and my cakes taste like brownies that were over cooked. I hate things out of the box. Try scratch next time, the quirky taste will turn someone out. lol I don’t know what I meant by that.
Nisa AK on June 4th, 2009 11:50 pm

Your cookies actually looked yummy enough until u showed the pic of the charred bottom
Mona on June 5th, 2009 1:05 pm

You’re funny. It happens to the best of us!
Nisa on April 6th, 2011 9:35 pm

lol!!! O been there, done that!!:)