Olive Body Butter

My sister’s fiance gifted my mom this lotion because he thought she was ashy olives have been mentioned several times in the Qur’an, and their health benefits have been propounded in Prophetic medicine. I know, he’s deep like that. This Olive Body Butter from The Body Shop is a seriously amazing moisturizer, but I fell [...]

At Least Miss Muffet Was A Pacivist. Although I’m Not Sure She Recycled

I’m one of those people who can’t kill a bug — and it’s not because I’m scared. I’m just that person who’s all, “Aww, take it outside and set him free.” And then people are like, “That is a Brown Recluse Spider!!!” And I’m like, “Who cares?!?! It’s not his fault he’s poisonous! How would [...]

If You Need Me, I'll Be At Mime School

A few years ago, while I was pretending to be Magnum P.I., I was involved in a car chase and then called the police on a guy I thought was a child molester. Well, it wasn’t really that exciting. For three days in a row, I came home at 10 a.m., to find a man [...]

If You Need Me, I’ll Be At Mime School

A few years ago, while I was pretending to be Magnum P.I., I was involved in a car chase and then called the police on a guy I thought was a child molester. Well, it wasn’t really that exciting. For three days in a row, I came home at 10 a.m., to find a man [...]

Mossimo Knit Dress

A perfectly long tank While I was at my aunt’s house visiting my grandmother last week, all of the family took turns getting out of the house while someone stayed with my grandmother. It was a really nice way to get a breath of fresh air and have some time alone. When it was my [...]

Try This, It’s Really Good For You. But Just Be Careful Because You Might Die.

When I was in the 10th grade, a friend of mine gave up soda and chocolate for Lent. Since she was doing it by herself, I thought I’d give her a little emotional support and go in on Lent with her. For 40 days neither one of us drank soda or ate chocolate. After Lent [...]

My Hijab Pins

And all this time you thought I was using Velcro.

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