Previously, In Cali(fornia)…

Posted on March 17, 2009
Filed Under Daily, Family, Little Sabreen | 10 Comments

I’ve officially been told by a resident of Silicon Valley that Californians do not refer to their Pacific Ocean-bordering state as “Cali.”
And I’m bummed.
I’m not even there yet, and I’m already as out of place on the West Coast, as a Japanese tourist taking a photo of a Yield sign in the middle of D.C.

Oh, what’s this?
New comments from native Californians who have given the term “Cali” a thumbs up…
Well, I’d hate to cause conflict between my readers, which could result in some sort of comment war, or gang violence, so from now on, I’ll simply refer to it as “The Big State on the Left.”

I’ve always liked California The Big State on the Left, but since the most time I ever spent there consecutively was 15 days, I’m not really sure what to expect when I actually move there, like, to live.

The last time I was on the West Coast, it was to visit family, and the last time The Boss was on the West Coast, it was to see the Lakers play Game 2 of the 2004 NBA Finals.

My family and I flew into Sacramento (like WAY pre-recession) and my parents copped a crazy deal – buy two adult tickets, and children fly for $1!

(Now it’s like, buy two adult tickets, and then stand in the corner and pray that one of you actually gets on the plane, because the stupid airline that has been going bankrupt for five years still has its big, fat Boeing nose above water, and while trying desperately to make money, overbooked the flight, and now you’re standing in line with your mouth open, breathing in all the airport germs, only to realize that you didn’t take your Airborne, but then you remember that – that crap isn’t FDA approved anyway, so you leave your mouth open, but continue to stare at all the frequent fliers that are able to board because they get miles for spending their plastic money, and now all you can think about is how you should seriously consider dabbling into credit card fraud.)

We drove down the coast all the way to San Diego so we could visit the animals at the zoo, and traveled to San Francisco where it’s hard to forget the beautiful sunsets, or the family secrets your cousin blurted out while playing with you and your sister.
Redwood Forest and the Monterey Bay Aquarium were amazing; Lake Tahoe and Sausalito were breathtaking.

From what I recall, everything on that side of the country was great for me as a kid – until the memories of that creepy “It’s a Small World After All” ride at Disneyland start popping up in the mental imagery receptors of my brain.
Call me Anti-Diversity all you want, but you should know that sailing through knee-deep water, staring at a bunch of Indian, Asian and Black dolls waving and humming as they sway side to side, is not my idea of a good time.
Two words: Freak Show.

Yesterday, after The Boss hit the road, we talked every three hours throughout the day until he finally reached his first overnight stop in St. Louis, Missouri.
Since he’s making the cross-country journey solo, it’s nice to know he’s doing well – though I wish I could have seen all the beautiful scenery he was describing as we were on the phone.

If I had a graphics team working for me, I’d have them create a really cool map so we could all track his journey together — kind of like Where’s Waldo – only in our game, Waldo would have a beard, and be wearing a kufi.

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