The Funniest Thing You Have Ever Heard. Ever.

Posted on February 20, 2009
Filed Under Daily, Family, Wow | 6 Comments

The other day, I tricked The Boss into helping me asked The Boss to kindly assist me in moving some of my stuff from college, that was in my mom’s basement, over to our place so I could finish setting up my office downstairs.

I have a laptop at home, so as we lugged my old 40-pound desktop monitor, and tower to the car, with printer, mouse, keyboard, and photo printer in tow, The Boss kept asking me why we needed to do what we were doing.

BECAUSE I SAID SO doesn’t do much for a man in his mid-20s, apparently.

I thought we had everything until we got home, and I excitedly ran downstairs to set it all up.
And then I realized, I forgot the plug.

I had to get my teeth cleaned today, and since my dentist’s office is close to my mom’s place, I thought I’d swing by, and grab what I had forgotten.

I was on the phone with my sister, who happened to be at the house, and I told her I was coming over. When I got there, she was getting ready to go to the mosque for Friday prayers, so I plopped myself down on her bed, and we started chatting.

She was telling me about how she was talking to one of her bffs from college on Skype, and they were reminiscing on old college friends/acquaintances/people they wished would disappear, and this is what followed…

Uzma: So there was this kid “Dan” at school, and I don’t remember if you ever met him, but he was so annoying, and weird. For the cultural show, he wore some sort of poncho to represent the country he was from, and he wore it without any underwear.

Uzma: Anyway, he was so gross.

Uzma: So I was talking to her, and she told me that Dan contacted her on Facebook, and was like, ‘Oh, do you keep in touch with anyone from school anymore?’
And she goes, ‘Yeah, I’m still in touch with Uzma.’
And Dan goes, ‘Oh yeah, I remember her. I’ve seen her pictures on Facebook. She used to be so pretty until she went all cuckoo and started wearing that stupid hat all the time.’

Uzma: And I was so mad, because you know how I feel about people calling my hijab a hat.

Me: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uzma: I can’t believe you think it’s funny, too. I was really offended when I found out he said that.

Me: HHHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Yeah, it’s hilarious!!!!!

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uzma: Ugh! He is so stupid! And annoying. And stop laughing!

World, if someone walks right up to you, and goes, “You look ugly in that stupid hijab,” then by all means, growl like a rabid dog, and go for the throat. But this statement has so many thought-provoking aspects to it, it’s hard to be upset at the man who put so much time into compiling this word sequence.
If a person chooses to wear a see-through vinyl dress without any underwear, one can only guess what kinds of things that are floating around in that person’s head.

If you ask me, that’s just one more reason why people shouldn’t use Facebook.

Comments

6 Responses to “The Funniest Thing You Have Ever Heard. Ever.”

Nazih on February 21st, 2009 1:40 am

hahaha! wow, mines usually called a du-rag by my friends :-p
Humaira on February 21st, 2009 12:35 pm

Well that’s the first time I’ve heard a hijab being called a hat!
Kyla Bea on February 21st, 2009 8:27 pm

LOL Oh my gosh. I would have died laughing too!

I took a ton of classes on Islam in university and one of my favourite girls would come in wearing a brightly coloured scarf, and by the end of class would have transformed it into a brightly coloured improvised hijab. To me, that’s skill!
Three Bay B Chicks on February 22nd, 2009 10:45 am

Hello funny lady! Took some time to check out your site…even read your Facebook post, which made me laugh out loud. I recently wrote about a similar topic, although I must admit that you final line in that post was way better than mine.

http://3baybchicks.blogspot.com/2009/02/public-service-announcement.html

How have I not come across your blogging genius up until now? Let’s make sure that I do not navigate away from your site without giving you another follower!

I like you.

-Wenda (aka Francesca)
Cheryl on February 22nd, 2009 1:37 pm

What! What kind of person calls a hijab a hat? What an idiot.

I’d sock him.
Jen on February 23rd, 2009 10:22 pm

My grandfather had a statement to describe situations, such as this one, where people are just totally ridiculous and/or really stupid.
Whenever he’d come across one, he’d look at me with his big blue eyes and say:

“They’re out there.”