A Love Poem…Blah…Blah…BARF

Posted on January 26, 2009
Filed Under Daily | 6 Comments

While digging through folders of folders on this computer, I came across some poems, and writings, and random brain diarrhea, that turned into pages of words for various chapters of a novel I hoped I would someday publish.
Life isn’t going in that direction, hence the tagline of this blog, but I thought I’d share something I wrote anyway.

Of Note: This is kind of like a poem, that you would kind of read in a dark room, on a stool, under a spotlight, with a Black and Mild in your hand, in a herky-jerky raspy voice, in front of an audience — oh, and you should wear sunglasses, because even though you’re in a dark room, that’s like, just the right thing to do.

P.S. I totally understand if you hurl after reading today’s entry.

He was her first love
and the man she never stopped thinking of.
When they Collided, he smiled-
she blushed.
And the first page to their future began to write itself -
and there were many pages to follow the innocent beginnings of a Decade of love.
There were years of wondering, wishing, wanting, waiting.
Through the grapevine, she learned of his real true love.
And it was not her.

But she remained faithful to the thought of someday-
They met in parking lots, under the Cover of night,
The only light that peered through the night was that of the streetlights.
And he kissed her.
More years passed, and she wondered, wished, wanted and waited.
Would he know the depth of her Love – for she could smell him in her clothes with her eyes closed.
There was a Knock at his door, and he learned of her true love.
And it was not him.

But late at night, as she talked to the new man in her life, she missed the man under the streetlights.
Then he called to say,
he still cared for her –
Long dark hair, her bandit-like eyes, the curve of her hips, her warm smile.
And she told him that she uttered those three Little words to the man who she thought loved her more.
There was silence,
though she wanted to tell her man from under the streetlights, that she meant for those words to be for him,
but there was Silence.
And then time passed.

She looked over her shoulder, and tip-toed past a place where she once saw him run and sweat, and swear,
oh how she despised a Man who’s lips were laced with profanity.
But still, the excitement tumbled inside her body, and her stomach dropped
as she felt a chill touch her bare skin,
his fingers run up her spine,
his breath on her face,
and he kissed her.

The man who once loved her Ran beside her car through the dark streets,
his tears openly flowing, heart broken.
He wanted to know why she had left him.
In her heart she loved still, her First love,
and there was silence.

She left her home, her family, and her friends,
and the man from under the streetlights.
And she loved again –
A man who only loved her for her Beauty,
and she let herself fall into an abyss of Torture disguised as a paradise.
She came out Scarred, but strong.
And she never stopped thinking about the man under the streetlights.

She drove down a long road, for many hours with the hopes she’d meet him again,
and the thoughts of being with him burst inside her until they Leapt from her chest, and danced across her lips –
and she smiled.
He told her he loved her,
and she loved him,
and he kissed her –
under the light of the Sun for the world to see,
that they were in love with one another.

She left when he left – duty called, and there was a War greater than what was inside of her.
And she came face-to-face, again, with the man who controlled her.
He carried her heart still in his hand – and he was strong.
But he was damaged.
His soul belonged to the devil, but her heart he still had,
so she Danced,
and then she Wept.
Alone.

She thought again of the man Under the streetlights.
He wrote her letters, which she buried away in the Confusion of what her life had become,
and she prayed.
For better days.

He returned, and she went to meet him,
in a place she thought he would lower himself to one Knee, to profess his true love for her after years of wondering, wishing, wanting, waiting.
But the summer months are short – filled with the bright glow of the sun, and their love –
but they parted ways again.
It was their Story that had been written,
with no Fairy tale ending to share with your children, or their children.
He told her He loved her.

She packed her Bags again, and she went to a place more familiar,
and she prayed.
For better days.

Somewhere, in the midst of the confusion and Peace, he held her hand –
it was a New man
Who made her forget the Pain of late night, city lights, tattered clothes, black eyes, and even streetlights.
Their hearts beat in sync, when she saw him,
and she had to catch her Breath when he touched her.

Into which she fell heedlessly, has no rationale.
To that which she left, a burden looms over her still.
And though she loves, there is no forgiveness — for there is no Apology worthy of forgiving.

Only an open wound, marked by the weapon of selfishness, which Time will heal,
for she only wants to say ‘I’m Sorry’ because it will help her Sleep at night.
For she has never stopped thinking about the man under the streetlights.

It is Unlikely he would want to see her, touch her, listen to what she has to say,
but she can still hear his voice, and feel the warmth of his smile.
But what would she say?
For if he asked her ‘When Did You Stop Loving Me’
the truth brings Shame,
because she never stopped loving the man under the streetlights.

But life does not consist of wondering, wishing, wanting, waiting.
But of loving,
he who is steady in his intention.

And If he is still out there, Do love as you loved her once, and Wait not for the sun to set.

Because she is well in love,
even though, he was her first love.

Comments