From My Grandfather’s Diary

Posted on January 20, 2009
Filed Under Daily, Family | 3 Comments

My father was born the youngest of six siblings. And though I never had a chance to meet one of my uncles who died when my father was just a boy, my sister and I have had the pleasure of being raised within a close-knit community of my dad’s brother, and sisters, and all of their kids.

My dad, his three sisters, and one brother, have all lived within a 45-minute to 2-hour driving distance from each other since they each got married, so growing up, our family spent a lot of time with my dad’s.

Even though my sister and I spent all our time with our older cousins, you couldn’t help but stop and stare at how the five of them could laugh, and talk for hours on end. And if you thought for a moment, they’d include you, you had another thing coming. When those five got together, all spouses, and children, had to fend for themselves, because even if you stood right next to them and hovered, waiting to be let in on a joke or story, you were considered an outsider in their little sibling sanctuary.

There are only three other people who share my last name, but what I’ve really come to admire about my dad’s life, coming from a big family, is that all five of those kids have grown up to be unbelievably close. Each one of them came to the U.S. at a very young age for college, and you’d think that over time, with school, spouses, and kids, they would grow apart — just a little. But it’s as if those things never mattered, because the five of them have stuck together like glue since they were kids.

If you ask each of them what the secret is – to maintaining close relationships with their siblings as adults, they’ll each tell you a hundred times, that they credit their relationships today, to their father.

I never had the pleasure of meeting my grandfather, he died when my older sister was 5 months old, but every person who ever met him, only has wonderful and magical things to say about the kind of man he was.

My mom, who took care of my grandfather in our home during his last days, said that even during his bouts of pain, and sickness, he never once raised his voice at her.
He was stern, but soft-spoken, highly educated, but humble.

My grandmother married my grandfather when she was only 15 years old. In the 25 years that I have been alive, I have only ever seen her cry when she talks about the son she lost, and the man whom she married, and misses every day.

When she was 24 years old, my grandfather bought her four gold bracelets, which for more than 60 years, she never took off. The one time she removed them from her wrist, was to place them in my hands, as a gift she wanted me to have.
And I was profoundly moved.

I know that my dad, and his siblings love their mother, but I have never seen a group of people have so much respect for another human being, as those five had, and still have, for their father.
They talk about him like they can still hear his voice, and you can see a sudden glow of pride come across their faces when someone tells them that they have inherited even one of their father’s qualities.

Last week, my aunt sent me and my cousins an e-mail. It was an excerpt from my grandfather’s diary — a series of quotes and thoughts he recorded in a journal in 1957.

I don’t know if he came up with all of the sayings, or if some are from books he read, or people he spoke with, but after reading through the eight-page document, I’ve condensed parts of his journal to share with you.

I have made a few edits for clarity, but tried my best to leave the document intact to best reflect my grandfather’s thoughts and words.

From My Grandfather’s Diary, 1957:

When attempting to buy anything, do not, say. “Can I afford this”? But “Can do without it”?

The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice you give to others.

Prescription for a  successful life: Acquire honesty; Seek humility; Practice economy; Love fidelity.

The man who refused to adopt new ideas and methods should logically resist all progress.

Imagination is an asset, but alone it will not get you there.

Argument thrives when facts are scarce.

Confidence in yourself is the first step on the road to success.

A man is valued as he makes himself valuable.

An educated mind is said to be distinguished by the ability to doubt.

Fame is what you have taken, Character’s what you give.

A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.

You must keep your finger on the pulse of events.

The best doctors in the world are Dr. Diet and Dr. Quiet.

Be slow to promise, but quick to fulfill.

Prefer loss to unjust gains.

Always be found at your post.

Well arranged time is the mark of well arranged mind.

Some men are wise, some otherwise.

Make haste but slowly.

First plan your work then work your plan.

It is just as essential to know what not to do, as it is to know what to do.

The love of wealth steals the wealth of love.

Good handwriting is a Divine gift.

Character is fed largely through the eyes and ears.

One must lock the door of the mind against evil.

Aspirations know no bounds.

Trust in God is the best founded aspiration

The wise aim at perfection. The foolish aim at wealth.

A man is hidden beneath his own tongue.

To assist the wrong is to oppress the right.

Enmity is the occupation of fools.

The Chief aim of wisdom is to admit one’s ignorance.

Be generous but do not be extravagant.

Do not mind the speaker but mind the speech.

He who does not recognize himself perishes.

Patience overcomes misfortunes.

Square dealing and straight thinking are fundamental factors in success.

Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them.

A man’s worth does not depend upon his age—some men are useless at any age.

Sacrifice money rather than principle.

Concentration is a fundamental factor in efficiency.

There is a right moment for all things—-do not miss it.

Leisure is sweet when it follows work well done.

Honor can only be purchased by worthy actions.

No man will grow unless he has faith in himself.

A wise man always knows when to stop for breathing space.

Consider well, than decide promptly.

Constant serenity of mind can only be secured by a clear conscience.

He who knows how to speak, knows also when to be silent.

Anything is impossible if you have made up your mind that you cannot do it.

Trust your hopes and not your fears

Maintain a nice balance between logic and instinct.

Interdependence is just as true of individuals as of nations.

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