Top 10 Reasons I Refuse to Join Facebook
Posted on December 17, 2008
Filed Under Daily, Wow | 16 Comments
This list has been a long time coming.
But I have to admit, I have thought about jumping on the Facebook bandwagon. After all, I have this blog that I’d like for people who don’t know me to read too, and it would be wise to use the vast resources of Web-based social networking to get the word out.
But after that vile thought ran through my impressionable brain, I had to grab hold of myself, shake some sense into me, and remember why I stay away from these cult-like networking sites.
Seriously, one day you’re gonna find all these kids piled up in a corner, wrapped in white sheets with Kool-Aid stains on their upper lips with a note that says, “Facebook God said it was time.”
This post is dedicated to everyone that died and came back to life when I told them I’m not on Facebook.
10. Women in unhealthy relationships log onto Facebook under “secret accounts” to check their boyfriend’s “relationship status,” and then get pissed off when they see that their loser bf didn’t fill out that category.
9. Women in healthy relationships log onto Facebook to obsess over their boyfriend’s exes, which gets them all riled up, leading them to become the type of women in reason #10.
8. No one really cares about your “relationship status,” or even mine for that matter. But when it changes, get ready for that phone call:
“I think they broke up. OMG, I know, after six years. Yeah, I saw it on her Facebook profile.”
7. People say Facebook is used to keep in touch, but I’m still in touch with all my close friends. Everyone else I ever talked to was for my own, selfish ulterior motives. Sorry.
6. Looking at pictures of girls in tiaras on their birthdays makes me want to vomit.
5. I don’t believe that anyone really has more than 30 friends, let alone 986, plus the 1,300 in their extended network.
4. If I wanted to look at pictures of you and your lame friends flipping off the camera, I could just as easily watch reruns of TMZ all day.
3. I find no need to post 649 pictures of myself making stupid kissy faces at the camera to try and convince the world I’m hot.
2. News Flash: Girls, if you weren’t cool in high school, posting pictures of your Totally Rad Party Life and all your “cool” friends (who were probably dorks in high school just like you) doesn’t actually make you cool now.
And the number one reason I refuse to join Facebook…
1. Because ME, not having an account, makes all of YOU so, so peeved.
And I like that I have that kind of power.
Comments
16 Responses to “Top 10 Reasons I Refuse to Join Facebook”
Leave a Reply
HAHAHA..so true!
Regretfully, I am a Facebookee. At first I thought that I was some hermit that did NOTHING with my life, since everyone had 1000′s pictures. Then later on I realized that some people feel it’s necessary to capture every second of their existence. I think special events are fine but like “One Night At Your House” shouldn’t even apply.
This post is just too good to be true! It made me chuckle! Being a (proud) ex-Facebooker, I have recently come to my senses and realised that having a thousand friends and browsing through endless photos of people having more fun than me, just isn’t fun anymore.
Plus, its about time we put our faces in REAL books, instead of gawking over other faces on facebook! The drama is endless (omgzz1!1! s/he didn’t reply to my comment/message/piccomment, s/he must hate me!!)
Thanks again
This is funny, i totally agree with the kissy faced photos & relationship status. But i keep my facebook account cuz theres some great islamic groups on facebooks that are very active in disseminating the knowledge & sending you reminders. Can never get too many reminders. And how else can you make friends with fellow brothers & sisters worldwide? 1,300 is nuthin since theres like a billion of us on the planet
If not for that, id be off facebook. And myspace 
I have to send this to a friend who loathes facebook. It took me a while to join, but I’m very selective on how I use it. As a journalist, I do find it a helpful tool. And in terms of mobilising peope for events. But I refuse to post pics, & hate it when others post pics of me. I also do not accept people I don’t know, and I’m strict on privacy.
But yeah-it would be good to say ‘I refuse to join facebook’ simply because that shows one isn’t part of the crowd. But I’m not a sheep, so my account stays activated:-)
LMAO…I have facebook and I do the kissy face in my pics…hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Hi,
I had to put this on my Blog! I mean people really think that they are PC indulgent, sophisticated, and knowledgeable because they have a Facebook page?
I guess they also think that “texting” is an important event in their live’s.
Thanks for putting that up!
I came across this post looking for fellow Facebook resisters. I think I’m going to subscribe to your blog based on your reason #6 alone! Very funny!
Stay strong! Resistance is NOT futile.
HAHAHAHA!!!!!
Besides number 6 which I don’t quite get – I totally agree with what you say! The trigger for my last relationship breakup was because I hid my relationship status becuase I had too many unnecesary people asking questions, yet the fact that FB shows you out of a relationship when you hide your status then raises a zillion emails and messages on the lines of “OMG what happened?”!
FB is truly an evil genius!
btw – I will hopefully catch-up with other posts and go comment crazy soon!
wa’salama
I don’t get it. Even college educated, approaching 40-something people have turned into complete lemmings. I probably *should* do Facebook if I’m going to call myself a PR practicioner, but there is something so…GAY about it. Let me keep my five friends and let nobody else know anything about me.
Hah hah! This is soo true!
I am not a facebooker and never will be, although I confess I have had those weak moments where I think “if only I was on facebook…” The constant peer pressure of joining the FB cult is hard to resist too. Even my 60-something dad has it!
But there is just something so narcissistic about posting details of you on the internet and taking photos of every fun thing you ever did. Seriously, who cares? And for the nosey weirdo’s that actually want to know, that’s pretty sad.
The worst thing about FB in particular is that once somebody’s read your profile, they automatically think they know you. Face it, all you really know about that person is that they can type!
Thanks for the post :]
Hahahah I find this a little funny #6 I kind of get because this girl on facebook was wearing a tiara on her bday in all these pictures, even though I dont really get why #6 is on there… I use facebook and no I am not “peeved” (weird word choice) because I dont really care if you have facebook or not, if you dont want an account thats fine with me, but i love facebook its great, you connect with friends and stuff
facebooks my life hahaha oh and yes I do have more than 30 friends; just to let you know. OH and by the way #8 is dumb, I mean why would people comment if they didnt care, and you DO know if someone said they were single when they just got out of a relationship, it means their single because they put “single” on their themselves, obviously you dont get that.. anyone goodbye 
ps: if you dont want to see girls in tiaras i have an idea.. DONT LOOK 
no reason to make yourself vomit over something that little right?, and even if we were peeved it doesnt make you have anyone power what so ever, 
goodbye
I don’t get why people feel the need to have to try “sell” Facebook to others who dislike it. I’m so tired of hearing it’s a great way to connect with friends and family ummm hello?? so is using the telephone and email! is Facebook the only way people can now talk to family?? it’s ridiculous! and almost cult like the way some people carry on about this website.
I have news for you Facebookers, this fad will too die and you will once again follow like sheep to the next social networking site claiming that site is also the greatest and the best way to connect with friends and family.
Get a grip and live life in reality and not a screen!
erm I live overseas and I grew up in the states. I keep up with my FB and post a billion pics so that friends and family back home can see the development of my child. So it DOES have some use, although I agree with all your points! lol!
I still refuse to follow sheep and join Facebook.
My Gf keeps pestering me to join.
Maybe another year when I have time…
Nobody cares you’re not on facebook, nobody cares about you, except yourself.
hi i wonder if you have a fb acct now haha but anw im still refusing to get one and am glad to read your post!