My Obsession With Mommy Blogs

Posted on November 23, 2008
Filed Under Daily, Newlywed | 2 Comments

At a dinner party a few weeks ago, a group of women (out of which I was the only one who did not have a child or a baby on the way) had a really great discussion on the challenges and joys of marriage, pregnancy and motherhood.

The discussion was especially helpful for me, since I’m a newlywed — and because each of the women in our “forum” were born and raised in the West, but are children of immigrant parents.

I often feel like women who were raised in the East are judging me for my fusion of values that come from being raised in the West.
They think their way is second only to the word of God Himself, and…
Wait. What? She has her own opinion? BURN HER AT THE STAKE!

I think it happens more once you’re married, too. It’s like all of a sudden you go from college grad, to workingwoman, to idiot girl who has no idea what it takes to deal with a man, a child, a career, and still be able to wipe your own butt.
The lack of faith in newly married women is so overdone.

Someone once told me that young girls should look at women from the East who have happy marriages and good children as examples for themselves, and they should ask those women what they did so all of us little naive, pea-brained sissys growing up in the West, can learn from them.

But I don’t necessarily agree.

I kind of feel lucky to have parents that are divorced, and in a way, I feel more equipped for my own marriage. I have such a different insight on married life and a different outlook on the world because of the experiences my parents shared with me about their marriage and divorce.
I also appreciate seeing crappy parents. It helps me learn what not to do, and I appreciate being given the opportunity to see other people fail.

On my sister’s 18th birthday, my dad told her that experimenting with drugs would mean jail, a pregnancy would mean homelessness, and any sort of arrest – well, she better take it like a man because he wasn’t planning on posting bail.

Some people might think that’s harsh, which it was, but my dad wanted to expose us to the reality of things that might lie ahead. And he wasn’t going to pretend that his daughters were so angelic that if we knew our friends were shoplifting, we wouldn’t ask them to pick us up something, too.

I know my parents are proud of who we are today, but they would never take credit for it. They say that it’s a blessing from God that we didn’t end up like crazed lunatics pumped full of LSD with four dead babies in a freezer.
Hey, it’s a sick world out there.

I feel like parents from the eastern culture are quick to judge other people’s kids – especially when it comes to religion. You can never be “Muslim enough” and if you are – people judge you then, too.

Oh my God, you let your kid watch MTV?
Oh my God, you don’t let your kid watch TV?

And to make it worse, if you try to channel outside sources for child-raising tips, a lot of people act as if you’re denouncing your religion.

Oh my God, I can’t believe you want your kids to grow up like the non-Muslims – what is that, a Bible in your hand?

No, actually this is a book on the benefits of cloth diapers.

Oh my God, I can’t believe you’re raising your kid to be a Tree Hugger. Those kids end up dropping out of college and never get steady jobs.

Is it all really such a big deal?

When women come together and have these types of open discussions about the confusion, and bliss, and frustrations, and pleasure of every aspect of womanhood, I feel thankful that I live in a time and IN A PLACE where these things are acceptable.

Reading parenting blogs make me feel more equipped for the life that I could have some day, too — and that doesn’t mean that I have any less faith in God or His planning.

The Boss and I are not ready for children right now, but I am happy to read every mommy blog on the Internet. And by the time I find out I’m expecting, I will have a library full of books about how to plan a nursery, and what to feed my kid, and when they should sleep, and what they should watch, and when they should learn how to read and be potty trained, and whether I should give natural birth or schedule a cesarean, and if I should breastfeed.

Will I still turn to Islam to learn the soundest way to raise my children?
Yes.
Will I also watch EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of Momversation?
HELL YEAH.

Comments

• February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011

• BlogHer.com Newlyweds Dish Twitter RSS